A survey recently undertaken has listed all the qualities that people expect from the perfect priest. Here are some:
*The perfect priest preaches for 12 minutes.
*He frequently condemns sin, but never upsets anyone.
*He works from 8 AM to midnight and is also a secretary.
*He makes 1,000 € a month, wears good clothes, buys good books, drives a good car, and gives 500 € a month to good causes.
*He is twenty-eight years old and has been preaching for thirty years.
*He is wonderfully gentle and handsome.
*He gives of himself completely, but never gets too close to anyone lest he be criticised.
*He speaks boldly on social issues, but must never become politically involved.
*He has a burning desire to work with teenagers, and spends all his time with senior citizens.
*He makes 15 calls daily on parish families, visits shut-ins and the hospitalised, spends all his time evangelising for unchurched, and is always in his office when needed.
Advice to the Cathedral Council:
If your priest does not measure up, simply send this to six other parishes. Bundle up your priest and send him to the church at the top of the list. In one week you will receive 1643 priests; at least one of them will be perfect. Have faith in this letter. One parish broke the chain and got its old priest back in less than three months.
Source: A man in red (http://bloggen.fi/micke/)