I've been a little ill during the weekend. Fever I have no longer but the "slightly-out-of-it-all" mood continues. And amidst this all I'm writing the Twain essay. It's actually flowing quite nicely although I have to admit that the beginning is so much striking than the rest of the essay. "Se lässähtää loppua kohti", as someone once said.
The same thing cannot be said about "Tipping the Velvet", however. I'm now half way through the novel and the only reason I don't do what I did on Thursday (continue reading it when I have an exam or a deadline to meet the following day) is that She'll be reading it. Funny, I've actually started fantasising about other women. In the end I do think of Her, or imagine saying Her name in the middle of an orgasm but at least I can start with someone else, albeit faceless one. But is this really progress? Is it progress if a cannibal uses a fork and a knife and a napkin?
Okay, I have to keep writing the essay. I need to finish it tonight so all I have to do tomorrow is read it through, correct the spelling and print it out (assuming the printer would not prefer not to, that is).
- - -
To spend a little more time here I found an interesting, time-consuming The Meme of the Day in which you're supposed to recognise the more or less familiar TV series tunes:
ELI:
Jos saat yli 45, olet huonoa seuraa.
Jos saat alle 15, on mahdollisuus että olet elänyt elämäsi tähän asti kiven alla vailla elämää ja kontaktia muihin ihmisiin.. vielä pahempaa.
Säännöt
* Plussaa yhteen kaikki tekemäsi asiat.
* Ei ole pakko kertoa mitä olet tehnyt.
* Jos ihmiset haluavat tietää, kysykööt.
Oletko koskaan..
1. Polttanut tupakkaa
2. Juonut alkoholia
3. Nukkunut samassa sängyssä vastakkaista sukupuolta olevan kanssa
4. Nukkunut samassa sängyssä samaa sukupuolta olevan kanssa
5. Suudellut samaa sukupuolta olevaa
6. Harrastanut seksiä
7. Ollut huoneessasi jonkun muun kuin perheenjäsenesi kanssa
8. Katsonut pornoa
9. Ostanut pornoa
10. Käyttänyt huumeita
YHTEENSÄ: 5
1. Ottanut särkylääkkeitä
2. Ottanut jonkun muun reseptilääkkeitä
3. Valehdellut vanhemmillesi
4. Valehdellut ystävällesi
5. Livahtanut salaa ulos kotoa
6. Tehnyt jotain laitonta
7. Viillellyt itseäsi
8. Satuttanut toista tahallisesti
9. Toivonut jonkun kuolevan
10. Nähnyt jonkun kuolevan
YHTEENSÄ: 7
1. Harrastanut kimppaseksiä
2. Ollut ulkona koko yön
3. Syönyt paketillisen jäätelöä yksin
4. Ollut terapeutilla
5. Ollut katkaisuhoidossa
6. Värjännyt hiuksesi
7. Kielisuudellut
8. Ollut auto-onnettomuudessa
9. Ollut yökerhossa
10. Ollut baarissa
YHTEENSÄ: 4
1. Ollut villeissä bileissä
2. Ollut strippiklubilla
3. Juonut enemmän kuin kolme kaljaa yhtenä yönä
4. Ollut kesälomalla Floridassa
5. Nuuskinut kaikkea?
6. Käyttänyt mustaa kynsilakkaa
7. Käyttänyt käsirautoja
8. Käyttänyt bändipaitoja
9. Kuunnellut räppiä
10. Omistanut 50 Centin CD:n
YHTEENSÄ: 2
1. Pukeutunut gootiksi/goottimaisesti
2. Pukeutunut pissikseksi/pissismäisesti
3. Pukeutunut punkkariksi/punkkarimaisesti
4. Ollut ulkona alasti päivällä
5. Varastanut jotain
6. Ollut liian kännissä muistaaksesi mitään
7. Sammunut
8. Pyörtynyt
9. Ihastunut naapuriin
10. Huomannut jonkun livahtavan salaa huoneeseesi
YHTEENSÄ: 4
1. Livahtanut salaa jonkun muun huoneeseen
2. Ihastunut parhaaseen ystävääsi
3. Ihastunut parhaan ystäväsi poika/tyttöystävään
4. Ollut konsertissa
5. Ollut kutsuttuna huoraksi/lutkaksi
6. Kutsunut jotain huoraksi/lutkaksi
7. Omistanut auton
8. Rikkonut ikkunan
9. Käynyt suihkussa vastakkaista sukupuolta olevan talossa
10. Harjannut hampaasi jonkun muun hammasharjalla
YHTEENSÄ: 4
1. Sanonut Tupacin olevan lempiräppärisi
2. Nähnyt K-15 elokuvan
3. Nähnyt K-18 elokuvan
4. Lintsannut koulusta
5. Ollut leikkauksessa
6. Haavoittunut vakavasti
7. Joutunut oikeuteen
8. Livahtanut ulos ravintolasta maksamatta
9. Sammuttanut ison tulipalon
10. Valehdellut ikäsi
YHTEENSÄ: 3
1. Omistanut/vuokrannut asunnon
2. Rikkonut lakia poliisin läsnäollessa
3. Pettänyt poika/tyttöystävääsi
4. Joutunut ongelmiin poliisien kanssa
5. Jutellut vieraan kanssa
6. Halannut vierasta
7. Suudellut vierasta
8. Ollut vieraan autossa
9. Ollut ahdisteltuna
10. Ollut sanallisesti ahdisteltuna
YHTEENSÄ: 6
1. Tavannut jonkun jonka tapasit netissä
2. Ollut tietokoneella 12 tuntia putkeen
3. Puhunut puhelimessa 4 tuntia putkeen
4. Katsonut telkkaria 12 tuntia putkeen
5. Suudellut parhaan ystäväsi poika/tyttöystävää
6. Ollut kutsuttuna huonoksi seuraksi
7. Ajanut kännissä
8. Haukkunut jotain
9. Maannut sohvalla vastakkaisen sukupuolen kanssa
10. Luntannut kokeessa
YHTEENSÄ: 2
Tuomio: 37.
I need to get laid… This test is so Puritan!
- - -
Post scriptum: this kept bugging me so I got a second opinion:
This one really hit the target: http://www.personaldna.com/. The results were accompanied by a number of different graphic presentations of the results, but as Lepakkolaakso.net doesn't allow HTML coding I couldn't include any of them here. Well, if you do the test yourself you'll see. It's a simplified version of the human DNA sequence, an example of which below.
I am a Reserved Idealist.
"ABOUT YOU
As an IDEALIST, you are distinctive for your integration of confidence, imagination, willingness to explore, and desire for competence over style. You have a strong capacity to comprehend the inner workings of things, finding new ideas and innovative insights to feed your curious nature. You are quite comfortable in the realm of abstract thought. You don't need a practical solution to every one of life's questions.
You are comfortable with the decisions you make in life. You don't need to second-guess yourself, or seek a lot of opinions before you make up your mind. You enjoy the routines that you have created in your life, and don't feel the need to shake things up just for the sake of change.
You generally succeed at what you do, and others would describe you as successful. It is important to you that products be efficient – looking good has to come second to working well. You aren't the kind of person who needs to collect stylish items in an attempt to create an attractive environment – you know that what matters most is function, not style.
Your independent streak allows you to make decisions efficiently and to trust your instincts. You much prefer to have time to plan for things, feeling better with a schedule than with keeping plans up in the air until the last minute. Your decisions are well thought out, and you're not the least bit impulsive.
You do your own thing when it comes to clothing, guided more by practical concerns than by other people's notions of style.
If you want to be different:
You take time to explore your own thoughts and ideas, but this experience would only be heightened if you opened yourself up even more to others' ideas. Your faith in yourself and your lifestyle is well-founded, but the occasional foray into the unknown might broaden your perspective and help you see things differently.
HOW YOU RELATE TO OTHERS
You are RESERVED – you aren't someone who always needs to have others around, and you find you can handle most situations on your own.
You can be very happy spending time alone, and enjoy your own thoughts and ideas. You find it difficult to understand why some people get so emotional and tell everyone else their problems.
You believe that if you want to get something done, it is best to do it yourself. In your experience, other people are not always completely dependable, so you generally rely on yourself and only a few close others.
Despite your independence, you are not a closed-minded person who makes hasty judgments about others. You know that it isn't always easy to walk in other people's shoes.
At times other people's feelings are puzzling to you, and you wish that people were more rational. Your vision of the world is complex – your values are not set in stone. Instead, you are able to change your beliefs as you learn new information.
Your independent streak allows you to make decisions efficiently and to trust your instincts. You much prefer to have time to plan for things, feeling better with a schedule than with keeping plans up in the air until the last minute. Your decisions are well thought out, and you're not the least bit impulsive.
You do your own thing when it comes to clothing, guided more by practical concerns than by other people's notions of style.
If you want to be different:
Even though it is tiring, making an extra effort to spend time with others even when you feel like being alone can have powerful positive effects on your relationships. Practice talking about yourself to people you haven't previously trusted. You will forge friendships where you wouldn't have thought possible, and with practice, sharing your thoughts and feelings will get easier and easier. "
A paraphrasing of a section from "On Writing - A Memoir of the Craft" by Stephen King:
Everyone has a muse. But there's one important thing you should understand: your muse is not to be summoned, threatened or otherwise persuaded to appear when you feel like writing. The only way is to write in one place always at the same time, preferably every day. When the muse feels like hanging around giving you extraordinary ideas concerning your text, it knows when and where to find you.
My muse (I imagine him to be this androgyne albeit long-haired, tiny and lanky, mischievous elf with green hair and pale complexion) knows I spend all my afternoons and evenings at the Spot (the teacher G and Wanderer both laughed at it today). Anyway, finally (drums, please) he showed up. My Twain analysis just got one hell of a kick in the ass. Hopefully my teacher will agree with me. With that introduction she might be afraid of me, though.
Apparently a good (long and loud) cry helps. Even though I had no really good reason (one that I would have been conscious of, at least) to howl like that in the middle of the night, it helped; I've felt so cheerful the whole day. Hey, I wasn't even bothered by the tax papers I got via mail today. Speaking of mail... "Tipping the Velvet" arrived. I will now be a bad and not-so-responsible student and spend my evening reading it. Screw that exam I have scheduled for Friday, I'll go to the retake if I have to.
- - -
I had that job interview today. Terribly long way I had to walk, I would estimate it to be approximately five kilometres per side. My feet are not happy, they hurt. I think I'll continue with the worm game once I'm finished writing this. Yours truly actually got herself back on top of the list (I was temporarily beaten; but remember that a lion is dangerous even in defeat): over seven thousand points; the second has over five thousand! *malicious laughter*
- - -
I'm sure you're all very much aware of the events at Virginia Polytechnic Institute. I was supposed to write an entry on the subject here today, but as I was writing it at the Spot the teacher G walked by and I got an idea to write my NALC course's essay on the shootings; he approved the subject so I'm going to revise my writings to go for at least remotely academic approach on the matter. I had a nice idea of the introduction in the process. Not very academic, though, and may go straight to hell as I'm finished writing it; can I really relate myself enough on Cho's state of mind to write a cogent, really short story ("minuuttinovelli") on the events that took place on that campus that morning? Maybe not. But whatever the result, I *will* get the song "Child in Time" squeezed in that text, in one form or another. It would make a tolerable introduction, too. Well, we'll see.
Speaking of writing, I came across a nice definition of the essential parts of the Finnish language from the point of view of foreigners: "no future, no sex". I find it hilarious, but I also feel like I shouldn't be having fun right after acknowledging Virginia Tech's massacre.
1. Your sex?
“Half a woman, half a shadow”.
2. What is your biggest dream?
“Never-ending love”.
3. What do you hate?
“Lies”.
4. How are you feeling right now?
“Dangerous”.
5. How is your life holding up in general?
“Crash! Boom! Bang!”
6. What things do you like?
“Chances”, “Physical fascination”, “Sleeping in my car” and “Voices”.
7. What would you want to tell your crush or significant other?
“Do you wanna go the whole way?” And “Listen to your heart”.
8. Where would you want to be?
“Silver Blue”.
9. Describe life?
“So far away”.
10. Describe yourself?
“Fireworks”.
11. What would you want right now?
“Surrender”.
Should be easy to say who's the artist.
Splenetic
2
This is the first time I use that emoticon. I can't stand this... that every night somewhere around ten this black heavy veil of anxiety, sorrow and worry descends upon me. The veil of loneliness. I hate to admit it but I am lonely. Until now I've kept saying that alone and lonely are two completely different things, and that I'm alone, not lonely. Now I'm alone and lonely, and I wouldn't want to be. I don't want to be.
I'm feeling a little sad, for reason unknown to my conscious self. You know, the exam I passed without reading to it... well, I got a two out of it. I have to admit, even though I passed it and the credit is all mine, it still bugs me to know it lowers my English average. Before it was 4.5, now it's 4.1. Well, at least I remain above the limit of four. Now I have pressure to keep it above it, though, since this setback makes it more difficult. Maybe I should just go to the retake some time. Maybe next year since I'll, hopefully, be spending it elsewhere anyway. Although... someone said you can be registered to one school at a time. But what about those who do go to two universities, of course they have to be registered to them both at the same time in order to get their credits officially registered. I have to remember to check this tomorrow from someone in the administration.
- - -
Started thinking about an entry one of you wrote a short while ago, saying that their blog does not equal to their diary. I was just glancing back my own blog and came to the conclusion that I very much treat my blog as if it were a private diary, not public to everyone. On the other hand, I suppose it's different when you lot don't know me personally... well, by name at least, and you wouldn't look at me twice if we were to see each other on the street.
- - -
The Meme of the Day:
I've been a quiz maniac again. As a result I have some of them here to share with other possible quiz freaks.
Say I'm Spider-Man (90%). "You are intelligent, witty, a bit geeky and have great power and responsibility."
The rest...
Catwoman - 75%
Hulk - 70%
Green Lantern - 65%
Robin - 60%
Batman - 55%
Supergirl - 50%
Wonderwoman - 50%
The Flash - 50%
Iron Man - 40%
Superman - 20%
- - -
The picture, called 'A Child in Time', was made by Allexa and can be found at www.deviantart.com.
The daily rhythm keeps being messed up. I did get up before eleven this morning but going back to bed seems to be quite a challenge.
I'm listening to 'Smoke on the water' at the moment. I can't believe I haven't gotten a Deep Purple record before, this is great! My current favourites are especially 'Child in time', 'Fireball', 'When a blind man cries' and, of course, 'Perfect strangers'. Now that I'm writing that short story competition piece I've come to take 'Child in time' as my theme song; it's comforting when I have to go through some of the memories I actually hope I didn't have. They may have built my character, but still... I think it has actually been quite disgraceful from me to call myself metallist and still remaining so ignorant towards a classic like Deep Purple. Shame on me!
- - -
Well, I'll cheer up once I get myself to bed. After all, when I wake up I know I'll see Wanderer later. I've become too attached to her, I know. I actually turned down a summer job because it would have meant to be working every afternoon and evening from Monday to Friday, and that in turn would have meant no more chats with Wanderer. Next year she'll be on the other side of the world. So, from the bottom of my heart, I rather want to worry about my monetary situation in the forthcoming summer than loose the last moments with Wanderer that I have left.
- - -
I did watch the first Star Trek movie, by the way. I don't think I'll turn into a Trekkie but remain as an X-phile. More earthly action suits me better, although I have to say I liked the plot. V'Ger... Voyager. The idea of a machine turning into a living being after gathering enough knowledge of the surrounding world (which, ironically enough, was the machine's original purpose), and then starting to look for a reason for its existence. Very human...
But, extra points to Doctor Bones. His irony really works for me.
- - -
The Meme of the Day:
I was just arranging my bookcase and started thinking about books.
The book I think everyone should read:
~~~Paulo Coelho: Veronika decides to die
The book that serves the purpose of showing how not to write:
~~~David & Leigh Eddings: Regina’s song
The book that should be written:
~~~Encyclopedia of masturbation =)
The book with the nicest covers:
~~~The Nightwish book
The book I last bought:
~~~Sarah Waters: Tipping the velvet
The book(s) I last borrowed from the library:
~~~The biographies of both George Orwell and Mark Twain
The book(s) I’m currently reading:
~~~Charlotte Brontë: Jane Eyre & Paulo Coelho: The Devil and miss Prym
The book I’ll be reading in near future:
~~~Nathanael West: The day of the locust
Good night, people! I was supposed to start writing close to three hours ago but I accidentally ended up on the Klingon Language Institute's web page where I've been studying the correct Klingon phonology and common phrases. Hell, I even made up my own Klingon name. It's actually a derivative of my Earthling name, but ah well. If someone got a spark to make up their own Klingon name, I suggest you to google the KLI; for some reason, using the URL www.kli.org bounces you to some Swedish site, at least it did that to me a while ago.
Originally I was just looking for translations for "I love you" in different languages and came across with Klingon. I had heard of it before but -I am ashamed to admit- I have never seen a single Star Trek movie. I think I'm going to fix that situation tomorrow when I storm to Filmtown to rent the first movie. Can't wait! It's, by the way, the Councellor Azetbur in the picture below, the only female leader of the Klingon empire.
- - -
So. Friday the 13th. I've heard several theories of the origins of the combination but as far as I can remember I've never had a particularly bad day. Actually, it tends to be the other way around: my life seems to flourish of 13ths colliding with Friday. I've had an excellent week this week, culminating today on social interaction, finding more than enough source material for next week's exam and the essay on "The man that corrupted Hadleyburg", not to mention coming up with a nice topic for an essay for another course. The latter essay isn't obligatory, though. But if I do write it I "will do better in the exam", as the teacher G put it. Works for me; almost anything to relieve the stress caused by the three-hour exams we have to sweat through. {Qapla'} to me.
Did you know the official name for the fear of Friday the !3th is paraskavedekatriaphobia? Not as weird as hexakoslohexekontahexaphobia, the fear of the number 666. My personal favourite is hippopotomonstrosesquippedahliaphobia; it refers to the fear of long words. Oh, the irony… rotfastic!
- - -
The Meme of the Day:
I found a nice, Finnish quiz site. It has numerous quizzes covering several areas. Here are some of my results; it's, by the way, due a test in the language section why I wanted to look up the "I love you" translations. In case you were wondering my motives.
www.visakisa.com
Enkelit – 52 %
I was surprised I did this well.
Jatka laulun sanoja – 43%
All the Finnish classics, both past and present.
Harry Potter – 83%
Actually, I was right in the other of the two questions that got marked as "wrong". The question was ambiguous; after all, time is constantly changing and what once was "the latet" isn't latest now.
Muumit – 74%
I managed to mix two central characters. I think I slap my hand over my eyes in frustration more than once.
USA:n osavaltiot – 20%
If you know all the states and their capitals you'll do much better than me. At least you're more unlikely to name the capital of Pennsylvania to be Transylvania (couldn't resist...).
Mitä kieltä – 79%
There were a few quite surprising things I learned as I listed "I love you" translations. I found that particular test very interesting.
Salaiset kansiot - 100%
What a surprise... the questions were so easy... maybe some day I'll make my own and far more difficult X-quiz.
I have a really twisted subconscious mind. The other dream I remember from last night... hrrr. Someone mentioned yesterday Saw III, and then I dream being a possible target of his.
I was in a familiar house with him, under that threat and he let me go. I run out of the house, it's obviously night since it's pitch black outside. I keep running the snow-clad street, sure that he's coming after me. At some point I slip, and as I have no strength left ot get up I try to crawl forward, sinking my nails in the icy surface of the road. I hear noise behind me and as I turn around I am sure he's there. Instead there's a punch of strange women who came to help me. The last thought before waking up (at six a.m.) is the incredible sense of relief: I'm safe.
Funny how it's always women who help me or are the ones I go to when I need help. Some time last December I had a similar dream. In it I go to my apartment but as I go to one of the rooms a strange woman with her child come in asking me who I am and what I'm doing in their apartment. Despite of me having the key they just throw me out. As I'm puzzled, and questioning my existence, I decide to go and stay at my relative's place while I sort out the situation. But when I arrive to that house, instead of finding my relatives there, there are a punch of kids with whom I had played for quite a while earlier in that dream. But they don't recognise me, they've never heard my name before and have no recollection of ever even seeing me before. And somewhere in the twilight zone, between being awake and asleep, I remember thinking that I have to find one of my teachers, Her actually, that She knows who I am.
- - -
I had a job interview this morning. Well, actually it was a sort of a... pre-"job interview" interview at Varamiespalvelu. I think it went quite well. We'll see if it has some considerable consequences in the near future. In the meantime, I'll do the translation exam for Harlequin when the time comes.
- - -
I had a long talk with Wanderer yesterday. It appeared she's had dinner with our beloved president Tarja Halonen. I was so much in awe because of this tiny piece of information that I completely forgot to ask her, why she was invited to have dinner with Halonen. Maybe I'll remember to ask that some time next week, I didn't remember it today when I went to say goodbye to her (she doesn't live here, although she teaches here, for the time being, anyway). Speaking of which... Wanderer won the Lecturer of the Year -award this year. That makes her the first female teacher to receive the award. One other English teacher has dominated the vote for years but I would say his reign has ended. I still don't see what's so special about him. Despite this fact a male friend of mine, whom I saw today (the catching-up took about an hour), keeps making fun of my spot in the English department being due to my alleged affair with the teacher G. Yeah, right... Not in this lifetime.
- - -
Kjell Westö was lecturing today in my town. Alas, since the communication isn't very obviously exactly working I had no idea of the thing until I opened my computer an hour after his presentation on the other side of the town had started. I'm pretty annoyed: I would have been more than interested in knowing the perspectives of a Finlandia-awarded author on writing. Damn it! I mean, these occasions are not exactly common in my home town. Ggggrrr... I'm going to write some response to whoever is responsible for updating my town's home pages.
- - -
I saved Deep Purple's collection album today from a sale. I've been now humming and whispering and singing their classics all evening. Especially 'Perfect strangers'. I love that one. Also gained more prestige after Mr. Koivunen sang it in Idols. it was the first song I heard sung by him. Until the first final round I had just ignored the whole Idols, mainly because the previous season was so crappy. Then a friend of mine I hadn't seen in a while told me to watch one episode. I did: as Ari sang I was just sitting there in front of the TV, paralysed, with my mouth open. Once he had finished I was in a trance-like state for a second before jumping up and starting frantically looking for my cell phone to vote for him. Watched every single episode after that, except missing the Scorpions cover in the finals; I hope I had had the possibility to hear it myself.
- - -
The Meme of the Day:
I have no idea who performs this song that I keep hearing from the radio. Anyhow, it has a nasty tendency to scorch itself on my memory and keep interfering with my inner jukebox.
