This is the first time I use that emoticon. I can't stand this... that every night somewhere around ten this black heavy veil of anxiety, sorrow and worry descends upon me. The veil of loneliness. I hate to admit it but I am lonely. Until now I've kept saying that alone and lonely are two completely different things, and that I'm alone, not lonely. Now I'm alone and lonely, and I wouldn't want to be. I don't want to be.