The Other World

A notion of the not-so-merry Yuletide: Went through my grandparents' cards. Turned out that my family has sent cards to people they know for a fact I send my own. Otherwise fine apart from one tiny thing.

"Yuletide Greetings yadda yadda yadda... From Mother, Brother, Splenetic and Sister and The Boyfriend"

The same FIVE names were also on the card of the gift from the family of my mother's brother. Call me paranoid but I'm quite fucking sure there won't be no Riitta or Milla or Kiia there even if I had openly a relationship with a woman.

It's a shitty world and it just has to rubbed in on holidays that are supposed to be joyous. Joy my arse. Fuck!

No AiA text yet. Still working on it (got so long that I had to switch to WordPad).

In other news: I have a package waiting for me at the local post office. Nothing new about that but the paper in which this announcement was made... well, look at the picture below.

Frightening. What the fuck is it to assume a 25-year-old woman is *married*?!

On my way to the train station, to enter a train going to Helsinki. I am going to see the play

ANGELS IN AMERICA

Whohoo! I actually managed to get a ticket there months ago. Happyhappyhappyhappyhappyhappyhappy!

Seems that my latest rant took place a month ago. What's been happening during that time?

* I discovered that *She* is straight (what a surprise, I seem to be a fucking staidar...) but unlike I expected it didn't crush me; I'll be quite happy with a friendship of sorts.
* I've concluded that I'm broken: a many-a-time smashed vase that has been put back together with glue and tapes and one shove away from utter destruction. QED: No romantic relationship is feasable. Why would anyone want a relationship with me, a broken and ugly pessimist with no social skills to speak off?
* My savings account is beginning to empty without Kela's allowances for about a year. This has been the reason for searching jobs.
* The most tolerable job prospect seems to be prostitution. I'm already broken so I won't be explaining and justifying this choice to anyone who might have qualms about it. I might as well be broken and able to pay my bills on time.
* Still no M thesis, it's not even started. Fuck, I don't even have a topic. I haven't even notified the professor who thinks I'm going to be writing it on literature and thus be under his guidance.