Specifically, my mother. My great-grandaunt (as in my mother's father's aunt) died last weekend. My mother called to ask whether I was going to the funeral next month. But here's the thing: when her mother turned 70, she held this big dinner party at a local "hotel". And right there, putting on my coat and shoes before getting out the front door, she does what she always does: nags about my clothing, listing passive aggressively all the things that she thinks are wrong with them. It doesn't matter to her that I've told her to stop doing that, that I'm a fucking adult. No, she just can't help herself. That was the last time I went any family party thingy with her; I got enough. It would have been a nice day but she just *had* to bring up the fucking clothes. And they weren't wrong for the occasion: white shirt, black straight non-jeans trousers, a tie. They were clean, they were fine. And this really gets on my nerves, the constant nagging about the fucking clothes.
Now, the funeral's going to be ways away, meaning that I can't get there on that day using the bus (let alone the train) and I don't have a driver's license (let alone access to a car) so the only option I have is to share a ride with other relatives that are going to the funeral as well. And the only options within that (as far as I know) are either my mother and my little brother, or my grandparents. I already called my grandmother and while she didn't explicitly say I couldn't stay at their place for a night and go with them, she didn't seem too thrilled about the option either.
So now there's this other family shindig. She just called again, asking if I was going. And I told her that I was planning on going but not with her and told her explicitly why, bringing out the example mentioned above. And what's her response? "You do what you want to do" with a tone like it's a concession, like she doesn't like it but can't stop me from doing it. It's like it doesn't even cross her mind to change her behaviour, that maybe this would be something to think about, that maybe this might be a time for some introspection. But no. It's like I'm the only fucking adult in this one. Am I expecting too much? Is it too much to fucking expect from a fucking adult? Does it show I'm really frustrated, that an event that should be about giving respects to my great-grandaunt is about her inability to fucking keep her mouth shut about a thing I've already time and again told her to leave be?