I am currently sitting in an IT class at the university and I just couldn't resist the temptation to describe the mayhem in here at the moment. It appears several techers have put deadlines on different essays to this day, the one day between the weekend and vappu. I can already imagine the malicious grin spreading all over the teachers' faces today when they think of all those students who have been partying since Friday to wake up today at two p.m. just to realise they have to drag their hang-overed asses to the university to write and print these essays to hand in today. I am convinced none of those teachers come here today to pick them up but I suppose it gives them a feeling of extreme power to know how we sweat to return them within the deadline.
And now the printer went on Bartleby mode! This is hilarious! I may have to calmly walk outside to the hallway and split my sides laughing there. =D
I watched that X-Files episode, "Closure", yesterday. In the end I burst out in tears. Mulder reuniting with the soul of her dead sister in the nocturnal field, surrounded by more souls of dead children, and that ethereal music in the background... I couldn't keep myself from crying; there's only so much I can take. It was just so beautiful, what Mulder needed; a closure to his lifelong quest to find out what really happened to her sister.
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The Meme of the Day:
I stole this one from Druusi:
“You are a Persian! You are quiet, gentle, and loving, though sometimes you need extra attention and care. Some might call you high maintenance, but you just need to be pampered.”
I suppose that’s not that far, in feline terms, anyway.
You know what I think? I think that this whole talk about humankind reaching out to space in order to gain deeper knowledge of our planet and our existence is just bullocks. These noble intentions are merely there to cover up the real reasons for humankind’s eager expansion of the frontier. What we are actually looking for from the skies above are habitable planets, which we can invade if we manage to develop the technology enough before we destroy the Earth and Homo bloody Sapiens along with it. You know what? Maybe we would deserve it. We had a chance to take care of this planet in which we are, for the time being, living but instead we keep abusing it due to creed, vanity and thoroughly false and naïve feeling of superiority. We are superior only in closing our eyes to have a feeble excuse to ignore all the things we are doing wrong, things some of which we might actually be able to change. So, in our almighty stupidity, we reach out in space, hoping to find a planet to inhabit before it’s too late for us.
See how arrogant we are, thinking we are alone in this vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big universe. I mean, some might say we explore space in order to find signs of life on other planets but really, after the Voyagers, the humankind hasn’t seriously tried to prove the existence of extraterrestrial life forms. We look for places to move when it’s time for us to face the consequences of our own mistakes, mistakes we could have fixed.
Okay. Let us assume we found a habitable planet whose size was relatively similar to Earth's with temperatures that would permit liquid water, and we had the technology to transport life from Earth there. What would this include? Would we build a modern Noah’s ark with the entire earthling fauna as well as flora, to make the new planet resemble Earth as it was before humans began systematically destroying it? Or would the new planet resemble those seen in sci-fi visualisations, with only humans in weird costumes, an animal or two to experiment with, and a huge amount of advanced technology? Or would it be something else?
What if the planet wasn’t big enough to move the whole, ever-growing humankind to live there? On what basis would we choose those to be transported to start a brand new, advanced version of humankind, Homo Sapiens Progressus, Humankind 2.0? With eugenics, perhaps; accepting only those with the best genetic make-up including such qualities as athletic body build, excellent health, outstanding procreation abilities and above average intelligence, all between a certain age scale (of course) so that they could produce more of these über-beings to develop humankind to the point of ruling the entire universe? After all, this would be a golden opportunity to get rid of all those pain-in-the-ass diseases, the by-products of our own ambition; a limited number excluding everyone who have been decided to be too old, too ugly, too unhealthy, or otherwise having aspects the people in power dislike. I’m sure there are plenty of people who would be more than happy to see the Third world with its problems to disappear, drown in the fiery ocean of destruction as Mother Nature gets back at us. Out of sight, out of mind. Or maybe they would come up with a global lottery. “May I present to you this week’s main prize: million one-way tickets to Planet X! Is it you who is going to have this once-in-a-lifetime possibility to wake up watching the Red Dwarf rise on the horizon with your loved ones? With ten correct numbers and only fifty cents a row it might be! Don’t miss this opportunity, because I know you are just dying to get up here!” Yee-ha. I’m sure ex-president Carter didn’t know the message in the Golden Record still travelling in those two Voyagers is now a lie.
"We cast this message into the cosmos… Of the 200 billion stars in the Milky Way galaxy, some -perhaps many- may have inhabited planets and space faring civilizations. If one such civilization intercepts Voyager and can understand these recorded contents, here is our message: We are trying to survive our time so we may live into yours. We hope some day, having solved the problems we face, to join a community of Galactic Civilizations. This record represents our hope and our determination and our goodwill in a vast and awesome universe."
You are exuberantly curious - and you love to explore newness. Enthusiastic and optimistic, you get a kick out of stimulating intellectual discussions. Foreign cultures and languages fascinate you. You love the outdoors, animals, and freedom. Chances are you tend to exaggerate, so try to keep a lid on that. If you do, you'll continue to be known for your confidence, generosity, and sense of justice.”
I've been writing a letter to Wanderer for two days now. It is very difficult to find the right words. I think the letter will, at best, seem very sentimental but I'll give it to her anyway. I know I'm not very good at saying goodbye, especially now that I know I won't probably ever see her again. My first guess: I'll burst out in tears by the time I know time is running out. I wish I knew I could see her some time after she leaves the university, even if only once, just to have something to hang on to.
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Since I’ll be playing God of War for the rest of the evening I’ll, for once, post The Meme of the Day during the day. This is one of those chain messages sent in emails that require you to send it forward to number X people in order to make your wish come true. I’ll improvise with the forwarding; besides I’m quite sure my wish will come true, in May to be precise. As I translated it, I took the liberty of cutting out all the irrelevant if-you-cheat-it-won’t-work-and-you-wish-you-had-never-done-it threats, and commands to send it forward within ten hours to get your wish. Note! Only for gay people!
Take out a pen and a piece of paper. When you are asked to select a name, choose that of a person you actually know and put down the one that comes to your mind first.
1. First write down numbers from 1 to 11 on top of each other.
2. After the numbers 1 and two write down one figure (whatever you like) each.
3. After the numbers 3 and 7 write down the names of two same-sex people.
4. After the numbers 4, 5 and six write down any names you like (e.g. friends, family, etc.).
5. After the numbers 8, 9, 10 and 11 write down the names of four songs.
6. Now, make a wish.
The key to the results is in the comments; “lead me not into temptation” and so on. I didn’t have any great revelations but I suppose it was fairly accurate (well, it should be, it has been designed to do so, kind of like horoscopes). The person to bring me luck, is by the way, Angelina Jolie. I know she’s not “a person you actually know”, but ah, well.
I have this Talk now! language teaching CD-rom but apparently I need to increase my screen resolution to 1024x768 or something similar to make it work. I would be grateful if someone could give a hint what it requires doing that?
Your personality matches Criminal Profile 4081658.
What the Police missed in the apartment bedroom was the body of Tony Hughes, whose decomposing corpse had lain for three days on the bed. What they missed was the blond man immediately strangling the Asian boy and having sex with his corpse. What they missed were the photos that the blond man took of the dead boy, the subsequent dismemberment of his body, and the cleaning up of his skull to be kept as a trophy.
Your personality type matches the criminal profile of Jeffrey Dahmer. While Dahmer had fantasies about killing men and having sex with their corpses as early as age fourteen, he didn't do anything about it until just after he graduated high school in June of 1978. He picked up a hitchhiker named Steven Hicks when he was living with his parents in the upscale community of Bath, Ohio. They had sex and drank beer, but then Hicks wanted to leave. Dahmer couldn't stand the idea of Hicks leaving, so he struck him in the head with a barbell and killed him.
Jeffrey Dahmer was a serial killer, necrophiliac, cannibal and psychopath. He did not take pleasure in inflicting pain upon his victims. Instead, he longed for undeniable, everlasting devotion. He was comfortable with his homosexuality, but not with rejection, conflict or other aspects of human interaction. In this regard, he did not desire interaction at all; he needed total possession. While you may or may not be capable of performing the horrific acts he did, you loosely resemble (with some obvious exceptions) his criminal profile based upon your general motivations, preferences and behavior patterns."
Last month the second God of War game was published. The game, albeit within my reach, is so bloody expensive that I have to wait for the Platinum version of it to be published god knows when! I mean, sixty euros for a game? That's just outrageous! For the past days I've been reading through all possible reviews written of the sequel, at least in languages I can read and understand. Sounds like it'll just blow my circuits once I get hold of it and slip it inside that black machine of mine and begin my far too long and, without a doubt, far too enthusiastic battle against all the monsters past and present in order to get the fierce Kratos to the Sisters of Fate.
Well, I guess I'll just have to relieve this Kratos fever by spending too much time playing through the original. I'm slightly nervous, though, because I fear the designers may have changed some things I loved in the first one (the score, the sound effects [what gives you the idea that I could possibly be thinking of the group sex sequence?] and the slow-motion sequences in the middle of great fights [the one that still sets shivers run down my spine is the Minotaur of the Temple]). But as far as we can trust those who have had the fortune to play it, they have actually managed to top themselves; I just cannot think of how that's even possible because the original alone was so spectacular.
And since I cannot sleep, I could start playing the original through right now. The still-picture below is from the first one, the first Boss fight against Hydra. This was the very one to first make me jump on my feet and shout at the screen (or the Hydra, I'm not quite sure which one) "DIE! DIE!!". I admit, I tend to take it too seriously. But I appeal to the mitigating fact; the graphic is so damn good you become absorbed into that world and you can't help but think of it as "real".
Update is in order; I am now number one on the high scores list with 12 799 points. I am quite convinced my position will not be threatened in anywhere near future (after all, gaining that much points took me over two hours; not very effective but what the hell). I rule!
"You must like to spank or be spanked, because your romance is remeniscent of Secretary. A truly modern love story, it shows that you don't need to be conventional to be normal. You're probably the type that owns a whole lot more leather than what's upholstering your car or sofa. Yeah, you know what I mean."
Hmm… sadomasochism… I haven't seen the movie in question but something tells me I'm not going to find it under the heading "Romance" at the video store.
Fuck it, I say! I was just playing the worm game to get back what is rightfully my and get my name on top of the high scores lst. But stupid me, I screwed up the keys somehow and erased the entire thing. Over four thousand points AND *eight* extra lives gone with the wind.
WHICH VEGETABLE WOULD YOU BE? Who claimed I’m not one already?
YOUR FAVOURITE PLANET? Pluto (I refuse to change the solar system I was taught at school!)
WHERE WOULD YOU NOT WANT TO GO? At the nuclear testing site at the time of the explosion.
WHERE WOULD YOU WANT TO GO? South Africa.
YOUR WILDEST DREAM? All the killing dreams are quite wild, in the negative sense of the word; I once cut someone’s throat with a sword, some other night I watched someone else hitting another in the head with a tile (that cracking sound and the silent, soft blood streams making their way through the pale face… this is the only thing I remember from that particular movie… and the snow globe that Latino guy was hit with; I think Richard Gere starred the movie).
CAN YOU FUNCTION IN YOUR DREAMS, I.E. CAN YOU TALK, WALK…? Yes. And cut throats.
WHAT WERE YOU IN YOUR PREVIOUS LIFE? I am convinced I was a fierce and mighty warrioress living in a realm in which women rule and there are dragons and mischievous elves.
AND WHAT WILL YOU BE IN THE NEXT LIFE? I don’t want to know.
IS THERE LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE (IN ADDITION TO THE EARTH)?: Sometimes I question the existence of life on this planet. As a consolation, I want to believe there is intelligent life, somewhere out there.
WHAT DID YOU DO BEFORE YOU GOT STUCK IN FRONT OF THE COMPUTER? I fired the Surgeon General. =)
AND WHAT WILL YOU DO NEXT? Go to bed and read something before falling to sleep. Hopefully. Eventually.
WHAT THING WAS BETTER IN THE MIDDLE AGES? As far as I know, nothing.
AND IN THE ANCIENT (GREECE, ROME…)? No Christianity.
WHERE IS THE LINE? The line of my physical buffer zone is that of an average schizophrenic. In other words, bigger than normal people.
IS THERE ANY ORDER IN THE UNIVERSE? 42.
CAN WE ANNOUNCE YOU AS A CANDIDATE FOR NEXT BIG BROTHER SHOW? Hab SoSlI’ Quch!
HAVE YOU EVER ORDERED ANYTHING FROM TV-SHOP? I plea guilty.
WHY DO HUMANS HAVE EYEBROWS? Good question… Well, I suppose pimples have to have some place to dwell when they’re waiting for the worst possible moment to appear in the most visible possible place on your face.
EXPLAIN TIME? A relative concept. And an illusion. Lunch time doubtly so.
FROM WHICH ATTITUDE DISABILITIES DO YOU SUFFER? I complain, whenever, wherever and about whatever.
WHO BRINGS FORTH YOUR PREJUDICES? Blondes, pissis people and blonde pissis people.
HAVE YOU PAID YOUR TV LICENSE? Yes, I have.
CAN ONE MAKE OUT YOUR HAND WRITING? If they happen to carry a magnifying glass with them.
"Congratulations! If your mission in life is not already to preserve the English tongue, it should be. You can smell a grammatical inaccuracy from fifty yards. Your speech is revered by the underlings, though some may blaspheme and call you a snob. They're just jealous. Go out there and change the world."
”Hey, Pussycat. OK, so maybe that's not your nickname, but you're most like Dorothy because you've got a lot going on upstairs. You're a smart cookie who's got your feet firmly planted on the ground. You don't get caught up in pie in the sky ideas or ditzy daydreams like some other people we know.
Realistic and practical, you're the one people count on to tell it like it is. Honesty is a great policy, but keep in mind that people may not always want to hear it. It's your quick wit and clever comments that will stir up the most laughs. Now that's smart!”
This is the result when I cannot sleep but have an Internet connection: memes. One meme, two memes, fifty memes...
This book meme is from Marjut's blog (http://www.matkalla.org/blog/archives/2005/05/se_kirjameemi.html). Since I had time I did it twice, in Finnish and in English. The Finnish one flows better and actually makes some sense. The English one doesn't really; it's probably due to the great variety of subjects in the books I used. But anyway, the rules are as follows.
Ota hyllystäsi viisi kirjaa oikeanpuoleiselta toiseksi ylimmältä hyllyltä...
1. ja ensimmäisestä kirjasta ensimmäinen virke,
2. toisesta kirjasta sivun 50 viimeinen virke,
3. kolmannesta kirjasta toinen virke sivulta 100,
4. neljännestä kirjasta sivun 150 viimeinen virke sekä
5. viidennestä koko kirjan viimeinen virke.
6. Tee virkkeistä jono.
7. Nimeä lähteesi.
Suomeksi:
Keskiyö lähestyi ja pääministeri istui yksin työhuoneessaan lukemassa pitkää muistiota, joka soljahti suoraan hänen aivojensa läpi ilman että niihin jäi minkäänlaista jälkeä. Ja me kuuntelimme ahnaasti. Ollakseni rehellinen, sanon tässä ja nyt, että jos minulla olisi tytär, soisin toki, että hänellä olisi oman ilonsa ja onnensa vuoksi useitakin luetelluista ominaisuuksista. Ei ihme, että Alison kärsi jatkuvasti migreenistä! Ripa sammutti moottorin ja meni sisään.
Lähteet:
J.K. Rowling: Harry Potter ja puoliverinen prinssi*
Latifa: Kätketyt kasvot
Suvi Ruotsi: Nuoren naisen selviytymiskirja
Barbara Erskine: Keskiyö on yksinäinen paikka
Reko Lundán: Ilman suuria suruja**
*Actually the first four books were all Potters but in order to get some variety I counted them as one.
**I got this almost five years ago after I participated in Nuori Aleksis reading circle, the purpose of which is for 17-year-old high school students to randomly read Finnish books that have been published that year and award the one they (we) think deserves it. Lundán won the prize that year with this book and all the participants got a copy of it with his autograph.
And the same thing in English:
Have you ever tasted a Whitstable oyster? ’How’re we getting - wherever we’re going?’ Harry asked.’Oh, no!’ squealed Hermione. Executed at about the same time as The Last Supper, this Virgin of the Rocks should be considered Leonardo’s first step toward a High Renaissance style;a style that he will invent out of his study of the art and canons of antiquity, as we shall see. It makes me feel so good!
Sources:
Sarah Waters: Tipping the Velvet*
J.K. Rowling: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
J.K. Rowling: Harry Potter and the Half-blood prince**
Pietro C. Marani: Leonardo da Vinci
Anne Rice: The Vampire Chronicles Collection
*I'm sure there weren't too many who didn't recognise this one.
**Two Potters I can bear but four is too much.
