The Other World

Everything's ready for tomorrow. I got the concert ticket yesterday and managed to get a room from a youth hostel. The train tickets I can pay in the train. Now I just have to work on my school essay so I don't have to worry about that while my stay in Helsinki. I have to remember to call my cousin. He lives in Helsinki so I could go visit him and his parents before the concert since I have time. After the concert I could go to DTM, for once in my life.

Miss Spec-TA-cular is sitting in front of me again. I said it once and I'm saying it again: God, I'm so gay.

I had the questionable fortune to watch Legally Blonde last night. There aren't people like that for real, are there? I mean, to use all that time to read fashion magazines and cuddle tiny dogs and go to manicures when you're feeling down... Well, they would probably feel the same way about me and my not-so-well-polished black nails.

But. Now I really have to start writing that essay. Have a nice evening tomorrow; I know I will.

YAY!

I just found out about half an hour ago that Lacuna Coil is coming to Finland! I never thought I would actually have a chance to see them live so now I'm trying to get the concert ticket and figure out the transportaition to the place, not to mention the of problem where I'm going to stay for one night. Anyway, I've already found the train schedule, now I just have to get the train tickets as well. I wonder what's the best place to get a map of Helsinki for free? And if anyone knows where Nosturi is located, I would be grateful for that piece of information.

Or I could check the locations from Eniro.

Finally! It's snowing outside! I was afraid there might not be any snow on the ground on my birthday. Now there's a chance, no matter how little. And I got a perfect excuse to again wear my Slytherin scarf I made last spring. I LOVE WINTER!

"When we finally kiss goodnigt
How I'll hate going out in the storm
But if you'll really hold me tight
All the way home I'll be warm

The fire is slowly dying
And, my dear, we're still goodbying
But as long as you love me so
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!"

I saw Her last night. I got to spend one hour in close proximity with Her. Her hands are so beautiful. I just lay on the couch for half an hour after the class thinking of Her. So much for the theory that my obsession is getting more realistic.

- - -

I was reading Herman Melville’s Benito Cereno last night and I have to say that, even though my teacher seems to think very highly of this piece, I find it quite boring. Melville writes even more difficult language than me sometimes. It was like reading legal texts: one main sentence that is constantly interrupted by numerous subordinate clauses which, in turn, are interrupted by more subordinate clauses. Sometimes I needed to read the entire paragraph all over again to get the idea. Well, I suppose I just have a problem with the structure. Holding the important information till the very last makes the beginning boring if you don’t know how interpret the little clues the main character in his almighty stupidity decides to ignore.

- - -

I’ve never really gotten the whole fuss about people’s arses until now. I’m writing this in a somewhat public place and that woman has THE most perfect bottom I have ever seen. “Spec-TA-cular!” God, I’m so gay.

Been busy so haven't been writing in a while. I just started reading Isabel Allende's absolutely fantastic novel Fortune's Daughter. It's a long time since I've laughed this much over a book, including Roddy Doyle's The Snapper, which, according to my teacher, is supposed to be funny. It didn't quite make my Smil-O-Meter skyrocket but it was definitely worth reading. Or as Lord Byron said: "Even a bad book is a book".

My Impossible Love has started to get realistic, eventhough I still act like Eliza in the first part of Fortune's Daughter.

They did it! They accepted the government's version of the atrificial insemination law!

When I woke up this morning I was sure they were going to let their prejudices take over. My trust on our government has just increased.

Thank you.

We also have a special day today: the day for Finnish literature. To honour the day I have gathered a small list of books I like and think most people –if not everyone- should read. The list is a shortened version of my own list of books I want to read before I die (at the present time that list has 121 books; no, 122, the list begins with a zero [it’s a number, too.]). Enjoy!

Douglas Adams: Linnunradan käsikirja liftareille -trilogia
- Actually has five parts but it's hilarious nonetheless
Isabel Allende: Rouva Fortunan tytär
- I love the raw, primordial imaginery Allende uses
Margaret Atwood: Orjattaresi
- What if women were nothing but baby machines?
Ray Bradbury: Fahrenheit 451
- What if it was prohibited to read books?
Paulo Coelho: Veronika päättää kuolla
- A very nice story about suicide and life and love for life
Eve Ensler: Vaginamonologeja
- Every woman as well as a man should read this
William Golding: Kärpästen herra
- This really is quite disturbing; moral codes do not apply in a group
Anna-Leena Härkönen: Häräntappoase
- Do I really even need to explain why every Finn should know this?
Anja Kauranen: Pelon maantiede
- Women don't rape but might avenge to those who do
Ken Kesey: Yksi lensi yli käenpesän
- A conversation with insanity
Toni Morrison: Sinisimmät silmät
- Any other book by Morrison goes, too, this is just my personal favorite
Timo K. Mukka: Maa on syntinen laulu
- Did you know Ville Valo has a picture of Mukka tattooed on his skin?
Anaïs Nin: Pikkulinnut
- I love Mandra!
Sofi Oksanen: Stalinin lehmät
- The most recent one but one of my favorites in Finnish literary scene
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry: Pikku prinssi
- This is just so adorable!
Hannu Salama: Juhannustanssit
- Probably the only Finnish book ever banned in Finland; the writer got a conviction on blasphemy
J.D. Salinger: Sieppari ruispellossa
- Another classic
Mary Shelley: Frankenstein
- Did you know Frankenstein is the name of the scientist, not the monster he created?
Oscar Wilde: Dorian Grayn muotokuva
- I'm going Wilde!

And do bear in mind that this is a much stripped down version, and it excludes many world classics. But I trust you all know those from Finnish lectures so here is more recent classics and books that I’m intrigued by.

I have some more important news. I sent my letter to about 60 MPs yesterday after posting here and this morning I have already gotten four replies. See, I'm not completely useless. And it probably goes without saying that I did NOT send it to Päivi Räsänen. We've already agreed once, I don't think that's going to happen again.

I just finished the background research for my letter about the subject. Since I can't be there next Thursday I'm going to write a message to some of the MPs who supported the registration law few years ago. This message might not have any effect at all but at least I've tried the best I can.

I've always considered myself unsuitable for a mother. Not because I'm gay (I think that would only be a positive thing) but because I fear I might become MY mother: inpatient and hypocrite whose raising methods include public humiliation, lying and double standard.

Now I’ve started thinking differently. I have quite possibly fallen to the very illusion that makes the humankind survive and continue its existence but I keep thinking I would be a better parent than my own. I would tell my children I love them regularly, I wouldn’t lie to them, I wouldn’t humiliate them like my mother did, I wouldn’t use them to hurt others by turning them against those people… in short, I would treat them as a loving mother should. I’m just afraid I couldn’t keep these thoughts and then become my mother.

But if I were able to conquer those fears and found a loving woman by my side, I would want to have the possibility to have a family by artificial insemination. I do hope the MPs don’t go veiling their own prejudices with the illusion of what they think is better for children. A loving parent isn’t genitals, it’s a real person with feelings, capability to love (be the object a man or a woman) and feel empathy. Why can’t they see that?

I’ve had an excellent day, again. This has got to be a record of some kind. I’ve never had this long period without a single bad day. Amazing how a few little things combined with love can transform a dyed-in-the-wool pessimist into a (probably very irritating) Roxette-singing optimist.

“Every time I see you I try to hide away
But when we meet it seems I can’t let go
Every time you leave the room I feel I’m fading like a flower”

- - -

I have one somewhat high-flown dream; I would want to publish a book. It would be a short story collection about lesbianism. I’ve already thought of dedicating it to Her. Somewhere in the back of my utterly childish mind I keep imagining the situation where I would write Her name above the dedication, give the book to Her and She would kiss me passionately as the violins play in the background…Yes, I know. “I’d like to get the odds of that in Vegas.” But as said, even the idea itself has wings. Well, we’ll see. Maybe…