Everytime the same thing. I see drunks in my vicinity, I go on a Fight-or-Flight mode. It doesn't matter whether they're batshit drunk or just getting taking something or with a hangover.
Today I went to Hesburger around noon and two drunks were there before me on the line. I've seen them both before: they're the same ones that hang around the market square all day long. These two... the other is in a wheelchair, I think his legs are amputated. The other was the usual skinny, bearded and smelly variety. I kept my distance to them and stayed back when they went to the table. I had so many moods going on in my head. On one hand, my loathing for drunks, my fear (knowing perfectly well that drunks are very unpredictable), my pity (for them being in that state where drinking has become their solution), my whatifs (would my father have become like them in the end, wondering without a job and a home and the only people to call family would be the fellow-drunks, living from hand-to-mouth), my disappointment (with myself for not being able to let got of this, not being able to not go to the fight or flight mode, not being able to act normal around them, not being able to not let my past affect me this much still)...
I wonder if I'll ever get rid of this.
7 kommenttia
Rokkihomo
17.9.2010 12:17
An inevitable part of Finnish streetscape they are. Mostly harmless, but I do get your point.
Have you considered moving elsewhere?
Torontosta
18.9.2010 03:32
Yes, I have seen that behavior in Finland in public like evrywhere there. Drunks bothering, causing trouble to people. Some of them are very agressive.
Rokkihomo
18.9.2010 09:10
Then again, crackheads are rare.
Splenetic
18.9.2010 10:36
Rokkihomo: I don't mind streets but a closed space is THE thing that makes me edgy. And unless I move to a different country, how does moving help, if even then? You know, I'm not sure if crackheads would do this to me. It's the smell and the mongering speech and things like that that are shitty, so maybe narkies I could handle... well, mentally at least. Don't have any experience on them so I don't know but it would be odd if my reaction did turn the that way.
Torontosta: Are they as prevalent in Canada as in Finland? Maybe it's a legislative difference?
RxCat
18.9.2010 19:34
moving might be a good choice i guess if it bothers you too much
Torontosta
19.9.2010 02:55
Yes, Spleneic, it is all over in north america. Yes it is.
Splenetic
20.9.2010 10:56
I guess there's no escaping it. I'm just going to have to deal with it. Blah... thanks a lot, dad...