I was trying to watch "K-PAX", but I just couldn't concentrate. My mind kept wondering around the inevitable, the day Wanderer leaves. Most of the time I am consciously trying to avoid thinking of it, but I am not, fortunately maybe, able to keep control all the time. The emptiness I am about to feel... it makes me so sad, and anxious. But how can I resist it? It is bound to come on my way some day. I don't think I've been able to apply the words on my wrist on anyone else apart from myself before. At this moment I wish I could believe in some kind of an afterlife. Maybe this is why people cling to their religion so badly, to have this commonly accepted self-deceit to rely on when reality cuts too deep, when they cannot bear something without having a hope, no matter how feeble, to comfort them. I wish I had it. But inside of me there is nothing.
