There's someone I like. Not Her, for those of you who have an idea what the capitalisations means. After four years, finally someone else. I doubt my chances are at least as low as with Her. Let's call her... fuck, I don't know, *she*.

Anyway, I could go and see *her* today. I just have no reason other than wanting to see and talk with *her*. Not good. I have a baddish day. It seems likely I'll sleep through the day to spend time, or watch a TV series. I have no one to talk to; I don't have a meeting with the psychologist until Thursday. I was hoping a package of books would have arrived today so I would have had a reason to go outside. Lectures are no longer a very good motivation to even get out of bed, let alone go through the trouble of clothes and shoes and bag and going out the door. I'm a fucking zombie. "Sometimes when the heart has a disease, it doesn't kill you. Then you have living dead." I feel like a living dead most of the time.