I saw Her today. She looked gorgeous in that flaming red shirt, with Her long hair coming down Her back, revealing Her beautiful face...

For a few days I thought -perfectly seriously albeit obviously naïvely- that I was finally making some progress: I was able imagine myself making love to someone else than Her. Now... I can't do that anymore without feeling the other is merely a substitute, just a warm body with an inadequate mind compared to Her.

Someone once said that clinging to an impossible love like this is selfish. I couldn't understand how this is selfish; it isn't my duty to be in a relationship with anyone. But why can't I move on?