What a surprise: EUROVISION 2009 - First semifinals

I hadn't heard of Finland's song before now. Okay, truth be told, I did have my own -however short- techno era in my teens and listened to Waldo's People so I had an idea what to expect. "Jos ja kun Suomi tästä pääsee finaaliin..." (Asko something) Yeah. Right. Not.

As for the previous ones, I have to say that Belarus began nicely. Large hair and electric guitars, however, are not enough for the undersigned. It was such a disappointment.

Belgium and Elvis. I have to confess I don't really get the '50s music so this flows through the brain without leaving much mark. I guess someone likes it.. obviously, they're in Moscow tonight.

Sweden, on the other hand, was a whole lot better. As a member of the Nightwish generation (you know, listening to Nightwish before Tarja Turunen was invited to the Presidential Palace on Independence Day and before the prime minister attended their concerts) I have a soft spot for opera vocals in a popular culture context (peculiarly enough, I don't really get much out of Teema's opera nights... the librettos are not really all that funny in the end... or more likely, I don't have enough sense of humour which just might be the reality. Hopefully they'll attend the finals.

Turkey. Now, there's a country that has such an ideological burden to bear I will not be thinking about the song or learning a few words of turkish. Instead, I will be thinking of the kurds. I will be thinking about the torture, the corruption, the "fuck you" the authorities give to human rights. Nice fooling, though. Send a punch of little-dressed women and make it seem as if women have even remote human rights in the country. Well, fuck you back.

Israel also has to bear the ideological burden. But points for acknowledging that as the lyrics of the song and the choice of vocalists prove. Not a bad song, either. Perhaps one could see a little ass-licking in naming the song "There must be another way" but no can do. At least the habitus is nice: gothic does the trick. Pink dresses may have been a bit too much since most of the world still has the Hamas-Israel bombings fresh in their minds.

We have a winner: Iceland. A beautiful voice, a nice song whose lyrics donät annoy too much but are instead quite catchy. And the background display is the best I've seen so far (written after all the songs: yup, the best): dark and hues of blue, a full moon, a dolphin jumping with a smirk on its face, a white eerie ship gliding slowly into eternity... and a cello playing in the background. I'm sold!

Romania. The first lines told me pretty much all I need to know. "Baltan girls know how to party"? What the fuck?! What is this, a Cosmopolitan sponsored beauty pageant? Maybe I should watch these without the subtitles... or not. I might fall for something like this. Okay, not this but something as stupid like it which is just better hidden.

Portugal's singer looks a lot like the actor Camryn Manheim. A few earring less, though. The song's way out of my league it's a whole different sports.

Malta. So the singer's father just passed away and his biggest wish was to see his daughter win the Eurovision Song Contest? It's not like he's going to witness that happening now. Oh, her again. Sounds like a pretty predictable ballad. Points for not dragging a punch of beautiful skinny people on the stage to dance to the song, however.

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What's the purpose of European Song Contest, anyway? Why is this arrangened every year? What is supposed to be achieved with this? It seems like an arena for countries to compete who gets the best extras and settings and dance moves and... Still, points to Israel for the political agenda. Shows some backbone, not just superficial. In order to solve difficult things, one must talk about the difficult things with their real names. Okay, so the latter is a bit too much to ask of a song in the Eurovisions but at least it's a try.

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And the results should be shown in a while... in the meanwhile I'll listen to Nightwish's 'Sleepwalker'. We could have sent them there, we the people said Nightwish was the one but the judges degreed otherwise. I hope you feel ashamed. Very ashamed.

Ooo... t.A.T.u... they've grown. Amm... a pumped tank? A pink, pumped tank?

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- Turkey. *shakes head*
- Sweden!!! Yes!!!
- Israel. Okay. A surprise? Dunno why it was a surprise to the commentators.
- Portugal. "Aito ja tuore"? Okay, whatever you say.
- Malta. No surprises there. For the record, I don't think Waldo's get t... okay, nevermind.
- Finland. See above.
- Bosnia & Herzegovina. If nothing else, I learn to spell the names. Where's Iceland?
- Romania. What?!
- Armenia. One spot left: Iceland or Switzerland? Icelandicelandicelandiceland...
- ICELAND!!! Good for you!!!

Fuck, Finland's in the finals. Un-ex-pect-ed!