The Other World

I've been writing a letter to Wanderer for two days now. It is very difficult to find the right words. I think the letter will, at best, seem very sentimental but I'll give it to her anyway. I know I'm not very good at saying goodbye, especially now that I know I won't probably ever see her again. My first guess: I'll burst out in tears by the time I know time is running out. I wish I knew I could see her some time after she leaves the university, even if only once, just to have something to hang on to.

- - -

Since I’ll be playing God of War for the rest of the evening I’ll, for once, post The Meme of the Day during the day. This is one of those chain messages sent in emails that require you to send it forward to number X people in order to make your wish come true. I’ll improvise with the forwarding; besides I’m quite sure my wish will come true, in May to be precise. As I translated it, I took the liberty of cutting out all the irrelevant if-you-cheat-it-won’t-work-and-you-wish-you-had-never-done-it threats, and commands to send it forward within ten hours to get your wish. Note! Only for gay people!

Take out a pen and a piece of paper. When you are asked to select a name, choose that of a person you actually know and put down the one that comes to your mind first.

1. First write down numbers from 1 to 11 on top of each other.
2. After the numbers 1 and two write down one figure (whatever you like) each.
3. After the numbers 3 and 7 write down the names of two same-sex people.
4. After the numbers 4, 5 and six write down any names you like (e.g. friends, family, etc.).
5. After the numbers 8, 9, 10 and 11 write down the names of four songs.
6. Now, make a wish.

The key to the results is in the comments; “lead me not into temptation” and so on. I didn’t have any great revelations but I suppose it was fairly accurate (well, it should be, it has been designed to do so, kind of like horoscopes). The person to bring me luck, is by the way, Angelina Jolie. I know she’s not “a person you actually know”, but ah, well.

I have this Talk now! language teaching CD-rom but apparently I need to increase my screen resolution to 1024x768 or something similar to make it work. I would be grateful if someone could give a hint what it requires doing that?

- - -

The Meme of the Day:
The Serial Killer Test provided by OKCupid! (http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=13762272565827620018).

"Jeffrey Dahmer

Your personality matches Criminal Profile 4081658.
What the Police missed in the apartment bedroom was the body of Tony Hughes, whose decomposing corpse had lain for three days on the bed. What they missed was the blond man immediately strangling the Asian boy and having sex with his corpse. What they missed were the photos that the blond man took of the dead boy, the subsequent dismemberment of his body, and the cleaning up of his skull to be kept as a trophy.

Your personality type matches the criminal profile of Jeffrey Dahmer. While Dahmer had fantasies about killing men and having sex with their corpses as early as age fourteen, he didn't do anything about it until just after he graduated high school in June of 1978. He picked up a hitchhiker named Steven Hicks when he was living with his parents in the upscale community of Bath, Ohio. They had sex and drank beer, but then Hicks wanted to leave. Dahmer couldn't stand the idea of Hicks leaving, so he struck him in the head with a barbell and killed him.

Jeffrey Dahmer was a serial killer, necrophiliac, cannibal and psychopath. He did not take pleasure in inflicting pain upon his victims. Instead, he longed for undeniable, everlasting devotion. He was comfortable with his homosexuality, but not with rejection, conflict or other aspects of human interaction. In this regard, he did not desire interaction at all; he needed total possession. While you may or may not be capable of performing the horrific acts he did, you loosely resemble (with some obvious exceptions) his criminal profile based upon your general motivations, preferences and behavior patterns."

Intriguing...

Last month the second God of War game was published. The game, albeit within my reach, is so bloody expensive that I have to wait for the Platinum version of it to be published god knows when! I mean, sixty euros for a game? That's just outrageous! For the past days I've been reading through all possible reviews written of the sequel, at least in languages I can read and understand. Sounds like it'll just blow my circuits once I get hold of it and slip it inside that black machine of mine and begin my far too long and, without a doubt, far too enthusiastic battle against all the monsters past and present in order to get the fierce Kratos to the Sisters of Fate.

Well, I guess I'll just have to relieve this Kratos fever by spending too much time playing through the original. I'm slightly nervous, though, because I fear the designers may have changed some things I loved in the first one (the score, the sound effects [what gives you the idea that I could possibly be thinking of the group sex sequence?] and the slow-motion sequences in the middle of great fights [the one that still sets shivers run down my spine is the Minotaur of the Temple]). But as far as we can trust those who have had the fortune to play it, they have actually managed to top themselves; I just cannot think of how that's even possible because the original alone was so spectacular.

And since I cannot sleep, I could start playing the original through right now. The still-picture below is from the first one, the first Boss fight against Hydra. This was the very one to first make me jump on my feet and shout at the screen (or the Hydra, I'm not quite sure which one) "DIE! DIE!!". I admit, I tend to take it too seriously. But I appeal to the mitigating fact; the graphic is so damn good you become absorbed into that world and you can't help but think of it as "real".

Update is in order; I am now number one on the high scores list with 12 799 points. I am quite convinced my position will not be threatened in anywhere near future (after all, gaining that much points took me over two hours; not very effective but what the hell). I rule!

- - -

The Meme of the Day:

What romance movie best represents your love life?
http://www.quizilla.com/users/tweak23/quizzes/What%20Romance%20Movie%20Best%20Represents%20Your%20Love%20Life?/

"You must like to spank or be spanked, because your romance is remeniscent of Secretary. A truly modern love story, it shows that you don't need to be conventional to be normal. You're probably the type that owns a whole lot more leather than what's upholstering your car or sofa. Yeah, you know what I mean."

Hmm… sadomasochism… I haven't seen the movie in question but something tells me I'm not going to find it under the heading "Romance" at the video store.

Fuck it, I say! I was just playing the worm game to get back what is rightfully my and get my name on top of the high scores lst. But stupid me, I screwed up the keys somehow and erased the entire thing. Over four thousand points AND *eight* extra lives gone with the wind.

To quote Cartman: GODDAMMIT!

From http://siwamika.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!835F1CA086A1A3C2!412.entry I found this one; it was called ”Melko lyhyt meemi” so I also took the liberty to shorten it.

WHICH VEGETABLE WOULD YOU BE? Who claimed I’m not one already?
YOUR FAVOURITE PLANET? Pluto (I refuse to change the solar system I was taught at school!)
WHERE WOULD YOU NOT WANT TO GO? At the nuclear testing site at the time of the explosion.
WHERE WOULD YOU WANT TO GO? South Africa.
YOUR WILDEST DREAM? All the killing dreams are quite wild, in the negative sense of the word; I once cut someone’s throat with a sword, some other night I watched someone else hitting another in the head with a tile (that cracking sound and the silent, soft blood streams making their way through the pale face… this is the only thing I remember from that particular movie… and the snow globe that Latino guy was hit with; I think Richard Gere starred the movie).
CAN YOU FUNCTION IN YOUR DREAMS, I.E. CAN YOU TALK, WALK…? Yes. And cut throats.
WHAT WERE YOU IN YOUR PREVIOUS LIFE? I am convinced I was a fierce and mighty warrioress living in a realm in which women rule and there are dragons and mischievous elves.
AND WHAT WILL YOU BE IN THE NEXT LIFE? I don’t want to know.
IS THERE LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE (IN ADDITION TO THE EARTH)?: Sometimes I question the existence of life on this planet. As a consolation, I want to believe there is intelligent life, somewhere out there.
WHAT DID YOU DO BEFORE YOU GOT STUCK IN FRONT OF THE COMPUTER? I fired the Surgeon General. =)
AND WHAT WILL YOU DO NEXT? Go to bed and read something before falling to sleep. Hopefully. Eventually.
WHAT THING WAS BETTER IN THE MIDDLE AGES? As far as I know, nothing.
AND IN THE ANCIENT (GREECE, ROME…)? No Christianity.
WHERE IS THE LINE? The line of my physical buffer zone is that of an average schizophrenic. In other words, bigger than normal people.
IS THERE ANY ORDER IN THE UNIVERSE? 42.
CAN WE ANNOUNCE YOU AS A CANDIDATE FOR NEXT BIG BROTHER SHOW? Hab SoSlI’ Quch!
HAVE YOU EVER ORDERED ANYTHING FROM TV-SHOP? I plea guilty.
WHY DO HUMANS HAVE EYEBROWS? Good question… Well, I suppose pimples have to have some place to dwell when they’re waiting for the worst possible moment to appear in the most visible possible place on your face.
EXPLAIN TIME? A relative concept. And an illusion. Lunch time doubtly so.
FROM WHICH ATTITUDE DISABILITIES DO YOU SUFFER? I complain, whenever, wherever and about whatever.
WHO BRINGS FORTH YOUR PREJUDICES? Blondes, pissis people and blonde pissis people.
HAVE YOU PAID YOUR TV LICENSE? Yes, I have.
CAN ONE MAKE OUT YOUR HAND WRITING? If they happen to carry a magnifying glass with them.

- - -

What is your life rated?
http://www.caffeinenebula.com/quizzes/quizFiles/ratings-mpaa/quiz.html

”Your life is rated PG!”
PG being an abbreviation for Parental guidance. PG? Screw you guys, I’m going home!

- - -

How grammatically correct are you?
http://www.quizilla.com/users/BaalObsidian/quizzes/How%20grammatically%20correct%20are%20you%3F%20(Revised%20with%20answer%20key)/

I'm a GRAMMAR GOD!

"Congratulations! If your mission in life is not already to preserve the English tongue, it should be. You can smell a grammatical inaccuracy from fifty yards. Your speech is revered by the underlings, though some may blaspheme and call you a snob. They're just jealous. Go out there and change the world."

- - -

Which Golden Girl Are You?
http://web.tickle.com/tests/goldengirl/index.jsp

I’m most like Dorothy

”Hey, Pussycat. OK, so maybe that's not your nickname, but you're most like Dorothy because you've got a lot going on upstairs. You're a smart cookie who's got your feet firmly planted on the ground. You don't get caught up in pie in the sky ideas or ditzy daydreams like some other people we know.

Realistic and practical, you're the one people count on to tell it like it is. Honesty is a great policy, but keep in mind that people may not always want to hear it. It's your quick wit and clever comments that will stir up the most laughs. Now that's smart!”

This is the result when I cannot sleep but have an Internet connection: memes. One meme, two memes, fifty memes...

This book meme is from Marjut's blog (http://www.matkalla.org/blog/archives/2005/05/se_kirjameemi.html). Since I had time I did it twice, in Finnish and in English. The Finnish one flows better and actually makes some sense. The English one doesn't really; it's probably due to the great variety of subjects in the books I used. But anyway, the rules are as follows.

Ota hyllystäsi viisi kirjaa oikeanpuoleiselta toiseksi ylimmältä hyllyltä...
1. ja ensimmäisestä kirjasta ensimmäinen virke,
2. toisesta kirjasta sivun 50 viimeinen virke,
3. kolmannesta kirjasta toinen virke sivulta 100,
4. neljännestä kirjasta sivun 150 viimeinen virke sekä
5. viidennestä koko kirjan viimeinen virke.
6. Tee virkkeistä jono.
7. Nimeä lähteesi.

Suomeksi:
Keskiyö lähestyi ja pääministeri istui yksin työhuoneessaan lukemassa pitkää muistiota, joka soljahti suoraan hänen aivojensa läpi ilman että niihin jäi minkäänlaista jälkeä. Ja me kuuntelimme ahnaasti. Ollakseni rehellinen, sanon tässä ja nyt, että jos minulla olisi tytär, soisin toki, että hänellä olisi oman ilonsa ja onnensa vuoksi useitakin luetelluista ominaisuuksista. Ei ihme, että Alison kärsi jatkuvasti migreenistä! Ripa sammutti moottorin ja meni sisään.

Lähteet:
J.K. Rowling: Harry Potter ja puoliverinen prinssi*
Latifa: Kätketyt kasvot
Suvi Ruotsi: Nuoren naisen selviytymiskirja
Barbara Erskine: Keskiyö on yksinäinen paikka
Reko Lundán: Ilman suuria suruja**

*Actually the first four books were all Potters but in order to get some variety I counted them as one.
**I got this almost five years ago after I participated in Nuori Aleksis reading circle, the purpose of which is for 17-year-old high school students to randomly read Finnish books that have been published that year and award the one they (we) think deserves it. Lundán won the prize that year with this book and all the participants got a copy of it with his autograph.

And the same thing in English:
Have you ever tasted a Whitstable oyster? ’How’re we getting - wherever we’re going?’ Harry asked.’Oh, no!’ squealed Hermione. Executed at about the same time as The Last Supper, this Virgin of the Rocks should be considered Leonardo’s first step toward a High Renaissance style;a style that he will invent out of his study of the art and canons of antiquity, as we shall see. It makes me feel so good!

Sources:
Sarah Waters: Tipping the Velvet*
J.K. Rowling: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
J.K. Rowling: Harry Potter and the Half-blood prince**
Pietro C. Marani: Leonardo da Vinci
Anne Rice: The Vampire Chronicles Collection

*I'm sure there weren't too many who didn't recognise this one.
**Two Potters I can bear but four is too much.

I've been a little ill during the weekend. Fever I have no longer but the "slightly-out-of-it-all" mood continues. And amidst this all I'm writing the Twain essay. It's actually flowing quite nicely although I have to admit that the beginning is so much striking than the rest of the essay. "Se lässähtää loppua kohti", as someone once said.

The same thing cannot be said about "Tipping the Velvet", however. I'm now half way through the novel and the only reason I don't do what I did on Thursday (continue reading it when I have an exam or a deadline to meet the following day) is that She'll be reading it. Funny, I've actually started fantasising about other women. In the end I do think of Her, or imagine saying Her name in the middle of an orgasm but at least I can start with someone else, albeit faceless one. But is this really progress? Is it progress if a cannibal uses a fork and a knife and a napkin?

Okay, I have to keep writing the essay. I need to finish it tonight so all I have to do tomorrow is read it through, correct the spelling and print it out (assuming the printer would not prefer not to, that is).

- - -

To spend a little more time here I found an interesting, time-consuming The Meme of the Day in which you're supposed to recognise the more or less familiar TV series tunes:

http://www2.nyt.fi/flash/tunnista_tunnari/index.html

My score is 5/7. I managed to screw up the sports and the weather tunes.

ELI:
Jos saat yli 45, olet huonoa seuraa.
Jos saat alle 15, on mahdollisuus että olet elänyt elämäsi tähän asti kiven alla vailla elämää ja kontaktia muihin ihmisiin.. vielä pahempaa.

Säännöt
* Plussaa yhteen kaikki tekemäsi asiat.
* Ei ole pakko kertoa mitä olet tehnyt.
* Jos ihmiset haluavat tietää, kysykööt.

Oletko koskaan..

1. Polttanut tupakkaa
2. Juonut alkoholia
3. Nukkunut samassa sängyssä vastakkaista sukupuolta olevan kanssa
4. Nukkunut samassa sängyssä samaa sukupuolta olevan kanssa
5. Suudellut samaa sukupuolta olevaa
6. Harrastanut seksiä
7. Ollut huoneessasi jonkun muun kuin perheenjäsenesi kanssa
8. Katsonut pornoa
9. Ostanut pornoa
10. Käyttänyt huumeita
YHTEENSÄ: 5

1. Ottanut särkylääkkeitä
2. Ottanut jonkun muun reseptilääkkeitä
3. Valehdellut vanhemmillesi
4. Valehdellut ystävällesi
5. Livahtanut salaa ulos kotoa
6. Tehnyt jotain laitonta
7. Viillellyt itseäsi
8. Satuttanut toista tahallisesti
9. Toivonut jonkun kuolevan
10. Nähnyt jonkun kuolevan
YHTEENSÄ: 7

1. Harrastanut kimppaseksiä
2. Ollut ulkona koko yön
3. Syönyt paketillisen jäätelöä yksin
4. Ollut terapeutilla
5. Ollut katkaisuhoidossa
6. Värjännyt hiuksesi
7. Kielisuudellut
8. Ollut auto-onnettomuudessa
9. Ollut yökerhossa
10. Ollut baarissa
YHTEENSÄ: 4

1. Ollut villeissä bileissä
2. Ollut strippiklubilla
3. Juonut enemmän kuin kolme kaljaa yhtenä yönä
4. Ollut kesälomalla Floridassa
5. Nuuskinut kaikkea?
6. Käyttänyt mustaa kynsilakkaa
7. Käyttänyt käsirautoja
8. Käyttänyt bändipaitoja
9. Kuunnellut räppiä
10. Omistanut 50 Centin CD:n
YHTEENSÄ: 2

1. Pukeutunut gootiksi/goottimaisesti
2. Pukeutunut pissikseksi/pissismäisesti
3. Pukeutunut punkkariksi/punkkarimaisesti
4. Ollut ulkona alasti päivällä
5. Varastanut jotain
6. Ollut liian kännissä muistaaksesi mitään
7. Sammunut
8. Pyörtynyt
9. Ihastunut naapuriin
10. Huomannut jonkun livahtavan salaa huoneeseesi
YHTEENSÄ: 4

1. Livahtanut salaa jonkun muun huoneeseen
2. Ihastunut parhaaseen ystävääsi
3. Ihastunut parhaan ystäväsi poika/tyttöystävään
4. Ollut konsertissa
5. Ollut kutsuttuna huoraksi/lutkaksi
6. Kutsunut jotain huoraksi/lutkaksi
7. Omistanut auton
8. Rikkonut ikkunan
9. Käynyt suihkussa vastakkaista sukupuolta olevan talossa
10. Harjannut hampaasi jonkun muun hammasharjalla
YHTEENSÄ: 4

1. Sanonut Tupacin olevan lempiräppärisi
2. Nähnyt K-15 elokuvan
3. Nähnyt K-18 elokuvan
4. Lintsannut koulusta
5. Ollut leikkauksessa
6. Haavoittunut vakavasti
7. Joutunut oikeuteen
8. Livahtanut ulos ravintolasta maksamatta
9. Sammuttanut ison tulipalon
10. Valehdellut ikäsi
YHTEENSÄ: 3

1. Omistanut/vuokrannut asunnon
2. Rikkonut lakia poliisin läsnäollessa
3. Pettänyt poika/tyttöystävääsi
4. Joutunut ongelmiin poliisien kanssa
5. Jutellut vieraan kanssa
6. Halannut vierasta
7. Suudellut vierasta
8. Ollut vieraan autossa
9. Ollut ahdisteltuna
10. Ollut sanallisesti ahdisteltuna
YHTEENSÄ: 6

1. Tavannut jonkun jonka tapasit netissä
2. Ollut tietokoneella 12 tuntia putkeen
3. Puhunut puhelimessa 4 tuntia putkeen
4. Katsonut telkkaria 12 tuntia putkeen
5. Suudellut parhaan ystäväsi poika/tyttöystävää
6. Ollut kutsuttuna huonoksi seuraksi
7. Ajanut kännissä
8. Haukkunut jotain
9. Maannut sohvalla vastakkaisen sukupuolen kanssa
10. Luntannut kokeessa
YHTEENSÄ: 2

Tuomio: 37.

I need to get laid… This test is so Puritan!

- - -

Post scriptum: this kept bugging me so I got a second opinion:

Which random cult movie character are you?
http://www.quizilla.com/users/shanachie/quizzes/Which%20Random%20Cult%20Movie%20Character%20are%20you?/

I am Donnie, from "Donnie Darko." I'm pretty troubled, yes.

See, I'm troubled! Not nice, troubled!!! Remember, all psychopaths look normal...

This one really hit the target: http://www.personaldna.com/. The results were accompanied by a number of different graphic presentations of the results, but as Lepakkolaakso.net doesn't allow HTML coding I couldn't include any of them here. Well, if you do the test yourself you'll see. It's a simplified version of the human DNA sequence, an example of which below.

I am a Reserved Idealist.

"ABOUT YOU

As an IDEALIST, you are distinctive for your integration of confidence, imagination, willingness to explore, and desire for competence over style. You have a strong capacity to comprehend the inner workings of things, finding new ideas and innovative insights to feed your curious nature. You are quite comfortable in the realm of abstract thought. You don't need a practical solution to every one of life's questions.

You are comfortable with the decisions you make in life. You don't need to second-guess yourself, or seek a lot of opinions before you make up your mind. You enjoy the routines that you have created in your life, and don't feel the need to shake things up just for the sake of change.

You generally succeed at what you do, and others would describe you as successful. It is important to you that products be efficient – looking good has to come second to working well. You aren't the kind of person who needs to collect stylish items in an attempt to create an attractive environment – you know that what matters most is function, not style.

Your independent streak allows you to make decisions efficiently and to trust your instincts. You much prefer to have time to plan for things, feeling better with a schedule than with keeping plans up in the air until the last minute. Your decisions are well thought out, and you're not the least bit impulsive.

You do your own thing when it comes to clothing, guided more by practical concerns than by other people's notions of style.

If you want to be different:

You take time to explore your own thoughts and ideas, but this experience would only be heightened if you opened yourself up even more to others' ideas. Your faith in yourself and your lifestyle is well-founded, but the occasional foray into the unknown might broaden your perspective and help you see things differently.

HOW YOU RELATE TO OTHERS

You are RESERVED – you aren't someone who always needs to have others around, and you find you can handle most situations on your own.

You can be very happy spending time alone, and enjoy your own thoughts and ideas. You find it difficult to understand why some people get so emotional and tell everyone else their problems.

You believe that if you want to get something done, it is best to do it yourself. In your experience, other people are not always completely dependable, so you generally rely on yourself and only a few close others.
Despite your independence, you are not a closed-minded person who makes hasty judgments about others. You know that it isn't always easy to walk in other people's shoes.

At times other people's feelings are puzzling to you, and you wish that people were more rational. Your vision of the world is complex – your values are not set in stone. Instead, you are able to change your beliefs as you learn new information.

Your independent streak allows you to make decisions efficiently and to trust your instincts. You much prefer to have time to plan for things, feeling better with a schedule than with keeping plans up in the air until the last minute. Your decisions are well thought out, and you're not the least bit impulsive.

You do your own thing when it comes to clothing, guided more by practical concerns than by other people's notions of style.

If you want to be different:

Even though it is tiring, making an extra effort to spend time with others even when you feel like being alone can have powerful positive effects on your relationships. Practice talking about yourself to people you haven't previously trusted. You will forge friendships where you wouldn't have thought possible, and with practice, sharing your thoughts and feelings will get easier and easier. "