Okay, I'm going to do it although I thought I shouldn't because there's nothing new I can bring to this discussion.
Tehy. We know the government is seriously lacking any respect towards nurses. When the doctors went on strike there were no more bodies than usually, but when the people doing all the practical work want to do the same it's the end of the world. And this methodology that has been used... threating, blackmail and bribing. The media and the authorities keep going on about how nursing is a calling and therefore automatically with a low payment. I agree with Kaarina Hazard: "Although the media attempts to create panic by flashing picctures of pre-mature babies in numerous tubes, the texts beneath the pictures tell that the parents are are standing by nurses. That's solidarity if something!" The excuses we keep hearing from the government have more holes than cheese; the fact is that they just don't care to raise the payment of areas that mainly consist of female workers. And the bill they're designing to force people to work... it would undermine the essential ide of democracy if every other field of employment the workers are allowed to fight for their rights except nurses. And yet, at the same time, they work on a bill to have extra budgeting to invest 140 million euros on Finnair stocks. What is fair and reasonable is apparently highly subjective in finances...
My practise is going to go straight to hell if they resign since there won't be any nurses to mentor us students. We don't know how we can make it up, or if we have to use our summer holiday for that.
- - -
I had an appointment with the psychologist for the third time earlier today. I may be a creep and an unsocial weirdo but she's fucking insane! She actually seems to think of me stupid enough to follow that downright ridiculous suggestion of hers. No, no, no! I have no intentions to force myself on complete strangers for a fleeting chance to befriend them. It is not natural for me to go talking to strangers without a bloody good reason! I'm suicidal, we know that, but even I have self-protective instincts and they are screaming! And it's awkward. I can't go to a half-empty café, pick a person randomly, go to their table and ask if it's okay I sit there and start talking about the weather!!! I mean, come on!!! (There are not enough excalmation marks I can put here to emphasise how enraging the mere idea is!!!) If someone did that to me I would come up with the feeblest excuse to get the hell out of the situation. And the suggestion to go to the gym sauna and start talking to someone there!!! I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO STRANGERS EVEN WITH MY CLOTHES ON, LET ALONE WITHOUT ANY KIND OF PSYCHOLOGICAL SHIELD THE COVERING CLOTHES PROVIDE!!! And theatre... people go there in clicks and groups, one is *not* to force themselves on them!!! They don't want my company, and they don't want to get to know to me, and they most certainly couldn't care less about my opinions of the performance!
I'm telling you, she's the insane one. And she even had the nerve to tease me about the . It was a fucking accident! The other way was blocked, the other wasn't, and when I used the open way and came across with Her naked... IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!
- - -
My new theme song - 'The creep'
When you were here before,
Couldn't look you in your eye
You're just like an angel,
Your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so fucking special
But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here
I don't care if it hurts,
I wanna have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice
when I'm not around
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here
She's running out again
She's running out
She's running....
run run run run run...
Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here
I don't belong here...
(T. Yorke/E. O'Brien/C. Greewood/J. Greenwood/P. Selway/A. Hammond/M. Hazelwood)
