It's been a while since the last time I slept so restlessly. I think I woke up four times during the night. Somewhere around five I woke up for pain in my chest. Amidst the twilight between awakeness and sleep I thought I might die there, lying in the bed, covering my heart with my hands, and be found a week later when people begin to wonder why I don't answer the phone.

I feel so bad for my reaction yesterday. I know that was the only way to get out of the situation I could think of then, but the immatureness of it... it may have hurt Her.

Can a heart really, physically break?

"Oh no, I see,
A spider web is tangled up with me.
And I lost my head,
the thought of all the stupid things I said.
Oh no, what's this?
A spider web, and I'm caught in the middle.
So I turned to run,
the thought of all the stupid things I've done.

I never meant to cause you trouble,
And I never meant to do you wrong,
And I, well if I ever caused you trouble,
Oh no, I never meant to do you harm.

Oh no, I see,
A spider web and its me in the middle.
So I twist and turn,
here I am in my little bubble,

Singing, I never meant to cause you trouble,
I never meant to do you wrong,
And I, well if I ever caused you trouble,
Oh no, I never meant to do you harm.

They spun a web for me."

Coldplay: Trouble