The Jehova returns.

They're arranging some get-together at the town hall some time during easter and was trying to persuade me there (as if...). Last time we were talking about the contradictions in the bible: she claimed there are no contradictions as it is the word of her god, I said there are. I listed some of the contradictions later as I couldn't (surprisingly enough..) remember them -the chapters, the verses, etc.- by heart so if she ever returned I'd have them at hand. And I did. And as a sidenote: Martin, feel free to answer the questions, they weren't rhetorical.

How did Judas die?
A) Hanged himself (literally: "Silloin Juudas paiskasi rahat temppeliin, meni pois ja hirttäytyi." Matteus/Matthew 27:5)
B) Exploded (literally: "Petoksensa palkalla hän hankki itselleen kappaleen maata, mutta sitten hän syöksyi päistikkaa alas, niin että hänen vatsansa halkesi ja sisälmykset pursuivat ulos." Apost./Act 1:18)

Her answer was C: both of the above. Judas first hanged himself and then fell down and exploded. As far as she's concerned, a lot of people who hang themselves explode when they fall to the ground. But let's think for a second: how high does one have to fall in order to "explode". Physicsist, feel free to correct, but something tells me one cannot hang oneself that high, unless you own a private jet of course, which I doubt Judas did.

And of course the same "do you believe in evolution/Big Bang/yadda yadda yadda...". It is indeed remarkable how fundies (and other religious people, too) use religious language on things that do not require belief as they have been many a time proved highly likely (more likely than talking snakes, anyway... hey! Maybe Adam and Eve spoke Parseltongue!!!). According to the Jehova, understanding the bible does not require that mysterious Christian intuition but humility. If only they used all that humility to understand other people, and the world just might be a teeny-weeny better place.