"Was I ever crazy? Maybe. Or maybe life is...
Crazy isn't being broken or swallowing a dark secret.
It's you or me amplified.
If you ever told a lie and enjoyed it.
If you ever wished you could be a child forever..."
An excerpt from 'Girl, Interrupted'.
Okay, considering the smiley choice the following subject (depression and its medication) may not be the likeliest combination. But still, it works the best with my current mood.
I just saw an interesting documentary/science programme on Yle Teema by accident. It was about different drugs and their effect on the brain. Amongst the actual drugs, as in cocaine and caffeine, there was a part about anti-depressants. For your edification, let it be pointed out that I have been suggested having depression many a time since the age of fifteen, last time being last autumn by my doctor.
I have always declaned. Mainly it's been because of my alcoholic father who was in the habit of drinking to the point in which he couldn't even pass out and he assisted it by medicating himself by continuously overdosing sleeping pills. As it has been found that certain genes can make a person more likely to get addicted to any kind of drugs, be it alcohol or medication. I wasn't worried so much about the physical addiction but the psychological one, which I have early on learned can be even more devistating than its physical counterpart. As I have the alcoholism gene (see http://www.terveysportti.fi/xmedia/duo/duo91378.pdf) from both sides of my parents I have logically concluded that any long-lasting medication is not something I'm willing to do lightly as I'm genetically inclined to get addicted even though the medication itself was not particularly causing addiction to its users.
My second reason not to take anti-depressants is depression itself. I've always thought of it as a sign of one's weakness. That it's not a genuine illness as it's cause is not physical even though the consequences may be. This is where the documentary comes in. It suggested depression is [sic] not directly caused by an anatomical anomaly but that it does have a part in the facade. Depression is strongly connected to stress ans, according to the programme, some people are more inclined to get depression due to the fact [sic] that some specific part of those people's brains is not functioning properly. Thus, a depressed person is not weak as such but is lacking a physical part which makes the person more likely to become weak (and depressed).
Even though I still acknowledge the possibility of addiction, the use of anti-depressants has now become less strict. If a person's depression is caused by this physical anomaly, it is not repaired by the medication, the latter just does the job it would be able to do had it been functioning normally since the beginning. But a more effective way to treat depression would of course to do something about this stress-filled society of ours. This way the need for medication would go down as well (I assume...). It's like putting down the fire on one tree when the rest of the forest is burnt to the ground. And one can't possibly keep taking anti-depressants their whole life!
Guess who's been considering to take the offer of anti-depressants lately?
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A depresssion test: http://www.tohtori.fi/?page=3459083
I scored 17. Nice..
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Playing now:
'One Thousand Deaths' by Deathlike Silence. 'House on Haunted Hill' reminds me of a certain other thing we learned a while ago, don't you think:
"Two hundred years ago there lived a man well known
that man, he was firmly insane
He captured little kids and kept them in the binds
Those children died slowly in pain
At last they tracked him down and awful truth was found
To be buried alive was his doom
He spelled curse on the place that no-one can't efface
It'll last with the flowers on his tomb"
Can you imagine anyone living in Ybsstrasse 40 again?
