Why bother?

"Don't feel you need to take any notice of me, please."
-Marvin in 'The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy-

Wit, starring Emma Thompson. A successful university professor gets diagnosed with cancer, which eventually kills her.

What would I do if I were diagnosed with cancer? It doens't really matter whether it would be treatable or not, or whether my chances of survival were high or low. What would my reactions be like?

In a smaller scale, I think I would just calmly acknowledge the situation: "So, this was it. Full stop." In a larger scale, I would gather all the money I could in a short notice; then I would go and say goodbye to Wanderer, the only friend I've ever had; then I would send my note book to Her (I'm sure She would find that one particular text interesting); then I would travel to wherever Sonata Arctica were playing at that time, go to that concert and maybe even speak with Tony. Finally, I would kill myself.

The balance between my will to live and my will to die is fragile, delicate, so easily shaken off. Why bother going through the treatment? I have nothing, no-one, to live for. In spite of the duration of my life, this world won't be any better place for me having been in it. So why bother?