Should've known. It was too good to be true. Being so ..light.. about the likely move to Turku. Should've known the anxiety comes; it always comes with everything sudden, anything that changes my routines. Anything shaking my sense (which clearly is very much false) of safety.
It took me four years to feel home here. Make... well, not friends but acquintances, people who when seeing me on the streets or at the university not only say hello but talk to me more. A few people I'm happy to see, like the always-happy gym director, or even Her regardless the contradictory feelings otherwise attached to Her. I had it good here; knew my way around here, liked the atmosphere, liked the town. Had my own places; the library, the bench by the seashore, the bench by the Orthodox church where I could be alone, a bench by the Lutheran church if I wanted to be surrounded by people who are just passing by.
Now it's all falling to pieces again, smaller than four years ago. I'm so tired of collecting them, trying to build something out of them. And right now, I'm lacking any motivation to do so.
3 kommenttia
Rokkihomo
11.3.2009 06:47
Should have commented earlier but been less active in the site as usual it almost slipped from my eyes:
Just to let You know, in all my understanding the department of English philology in the University of Turku is not a bad place, not a bad place at all.
Just... believe me.
Rokkihomo
11.3.2009 06:48
Hhh... 'as usual' = 'than usual'
Splenetic
11.3.2009 17:30
Well it would appear you have a bit more pressing issues to deal with at the moment than reading people's blogs...
Good to know it's not a bad place though I know absolutely nothing of it. And I'm still contemplating between English philology and English translation. The latter sounds better for my professional interests but I think I don't have the necessary skills from my current studies for it so I may have to take Philology after all. But I suppose it doesn't really matter; since when have translators been asked their qualifications, the authorised translator diploma aside?
But stay tuned, this thing will unfold in the forthcoming months. I was even asked to write a text on the subject for the (now infamous) Linguistics Student Union paper.