It's again been a while since I wrote here. What could I do to get this blog updated more often? Maybe the problem is that there hasn't been much happening in my life lately. I turned twenty-one, remaining the way I was before.
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I had a viva voce exam today. I was so nervous about it last night that I couldn't get much sleep (about three hours in the end). Well, at least it's not anywhere near my reaction to my very first matriculation exam, Swedish, few years ago. Then I could barely close my eyes and when I did I kept dreaming about how I was late from the exam or otherwise screwed it up... at five a.m. I was throwing up. That was the last time I've eaten before an important and/or new exam. The actual examination was so much easier than I expected. It was also revealed that the teacher and three of her friends wrote a Harlequin novel in order to gather the money required to travel to the Bahamas. Did you know those novels have a very strict event line created by the publishers?
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Approximately an hour ago I was walking home from a book store and there was this guy who was walking to the direction I came from. Anyway, he did something very non-Finnish and stepped up to me. First I assumed he was lost or just drunk but it appeared that he was neither. He just talked to me, asking my name and whether I'm from this town and the weather... He looked so harmless (but then again, all the psychopaths look harmless and seem normal... not that I think he was a psychopath, that would be me). Diego's (that's his, presumably real, name) voice was like a little boy's voice. His hand was so very warm, too (he shook my hand before departing). I was feeling down earlier and I've been smiling ever since Diego.
Funny how something so little like this can affect so much. It's the same thing with everything: saving someone's disc from the university's computer class (also known as the Bermuda Triangle of Discs), or opening the door for someone, or helping someone if they're lost, or helping with the computers if somebody has a problem with them... These things don't probably mean much to others and they forget about them quite soon and yet they make me feel better, that I've been useful, that I'm not completely terrible and bad person.
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Speaking of personalities, I found a Cattell sixteen factors personality test (http://similarminds.com/cattell-16-factor.html). It is a test created by a chemist Raymond Bernard Cattell. The questionnaire is based on the idea that different personality characteristics (or source traits, as he himself called them) can be divided in sixteen factors (or taxonomy) as the Periodic table. Here’s my results.
Warmth 34% - More cold and selfish than supportive and comforting (I may want to disagree…).
Intellect 62% - More cerebral and analytical than instinctive and unstable (that is true).
Emotional stability 34% - More irritable and moody than level headed and calm (depends on the situation).
Aggressiveness 78% - More controlling and tough than modest and docile (why is that a bad thing?).
Liveliness 62% - More wild and fun loving than somber and restrained (=D).
Dutifulness 54% - More conforming and traditional than untraditional and rebellious (hmm?).
Social assertiveness 18% - More shy and withdrawn than uninhibited and bold (the seed of truth dwells here).
Sensitivity 70% - More touchy and soft than coarse and tough (what about aggressiveness?)
Paranoia 78% - More wary and suspicious than trusting and easy going (“possibly”).
Abstractness 78% - More strange and imaginative than practical and regular (“it’s plausible”).
Introversion 54% - More private and quiet than open and friendly (“it’s feasible”).
Anxiety 70% - More fearful and self-doubting than confident and self assured (“swamp gas?”; to those of you who have no idea what this series of answers/comments means, it's from X-Files when Scully offers scientific explanations to a UFO close encounter).
Openmindedness 66% - More curious and exploratory than closeminded and set-in-ways (could be).
Independence 82% - More loner and craving solitude than outgoing and social (why should they exclude each other?).
Perfectionism 74% - More orderly and thorough than disorganized and messy (my roommate knows this very well, probably better than she would like to).
Tension 70% - More stressed and (unstressed?) unsatisfied than relaxed and cool (mostly…).
