I was reading by the seashore today. From the corner of my eye see a couple approaching. As they walk past me I glance up and having a sinking feeling surge through my stomach; the woman walks forward without me seeing her face and then she stops with her back towards me to take a picture of the gulf. My first thought: Wanderer is back. The woman looks so much like her: short though a bit skinnier, but her hair is the similar colour and even closed in a similar way that that of Wanderer's. I seem to forget so easily how many thoughts and how much hope can go through my mind in one second. During the few seconds required to take a picture I had thought of Wanderer's smile when she recognises me, how we would laugh at her not recognising me, or her explaining she just wanted to surprise me by not talking to me before taking the picture, to feel her arms around me as she would hug me, talk with her about all that has happened in a little over a year to both of us... in short, to have a friend again. And then to feel another sinking feeling as the woman turns and walks away and I realise it is not Wanderer.
Not feeling well. Not at all. I think I'll spend the rest of the day watching movies and television, 'V for Vendetta', 'The Day After Tomorrow', 'Without a Trace'. Fuck this day.
