All my life I've been holding back, thinking that I have all the time in the world to do something meaningful, to accomplish something. Then you begin to become more and more conscious of the existence of people who have made a difference, that they are all of your age. And you realise you still haven't done anything important.
Simone Simons, the vocalist of Epica, for instance. The singer and co-writer of songs, in a relationship, planning to have children someday, making shivers run down people's back all around the globe, enchanting men and women alike with her nearly divine appearance.
Antti Autti, the snowboarder. Has brought Finland fame and continues to inspire numerous youngsters in Finland to try out sports.
Keira Knightley, Lily Allen, Nico Rosberg, four Tiktak members out of five... All my friends are beginning to settle down; P proposed to his girlfriend last summer, E is married with two beautiful daughters, H is in a serious relationship considering having children with the guy...
And me? No relationships of any kind ever, possibly unable to reproduct offspring, no stability in any section of my life. I have a world of work ahead of me if I'm planning to leave my mortal coil feeling I've meant something to someone.
I am angry. Some yahoo has decided to add an extra course (compulsory, naturally) to the basics of my major. The sign-up session was earlier today so of course my name is not on the bloody list since I didn't even know such a course existed!!! Now I've been sending e-mails here and there in order to find out what this is about and whether it also includes me.
Damn... just when I managed to come up with a working solution to my scheduling problems. Grrr...
Splenetic
Fuck, Finland won that Eurodance thingy. Wau...
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Got the latest Epica album 'The Divine Conspiracy' from Anttila today. I didn't expect to find it: it isn't supposed to be out until on the 5th. The computer agreed with me with continuous beeps but the guy sold it to me anyway. Good for me...
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This computer will be either demolished or fixed. Either way, I will not tolerate this any longer. It just took me half an hour to open it; I (or rather, the ScanDisk) had to fix ten files of some kind before moving on. Fuck this...
I have a day off, and what do I do? I wake up at 7.28. I managed to do nothing for about an hour before getting up and taking a shower but seriously: I have a day off and I wake up (without an alarm clock, fact forbid!) at that hour! Blaah...
We have some sort of a kick-in party at the Polytechnic today: I could not be less interested. It should reinforce the mutual relationships and the We spirit of the class but I solemnly doubt a classmate throwing up on your shoes realy classifies as getting to know them better (or then getting to know them too well). I think I'll continue with my movie nights and watch 'Dead Poets Society'. Last night I watched 'Perfume' because of Alan Rickman. That movie is really good; I especially liked the depictation of paradise involving not only straight couples but gay couples (mainly women, though) as well.
But my class. As I said in the previous entry I'm an alien there. But then again, we have quite a variety there. T is a 34-year-old male with a Master's degree (he studied religions) who, as he admitted, is going through a crisis. H is a 22-year-old female from Kemi; I couldn't help but ask her if she's ever come across with any of the members of Sonata Arctica (she has, by the way). V is the mother of two, N a mother of one. S, a 19-year-old male, was planning to go to New Zealand to work if he hadn't got a study place; he had a job there as a model (doesn't look any different to me, mind you). E has studied a year in the Polytechnic already, but he switched sides and is currently both a freshman and a tutor.
Okay, now I'm tired. And I still need to go a get a bike.
Okay, so this is the thing: my computer is not working. It may freeze any second when I use it so I'm currently sitting at the library's computer.
I just finished my second day at the Polytechnic. I still haven't learned to locate, let alone *use*, the computers there so I have to do Joyces and go to an exile in a public place. Anyway, I think I'm not too fond of my class (B, again, surprisingly enough...), I feel like I'm completely alienated from the rest by my university studies. I should go home and write some short introduction about myself to give to all the teachers; whenever we come across with a new member of the staff they force all twenty-three of us to give a detailed information package of ourselves, always asking the same things.
I can't wait for the week 38, though! We have eight hours of lectures on pathology!!! And during our second year we'll be doing internship in a hospital and get a chance to go and see a real autopsy. By then I've read my father's autopsy report through many a times so it should be interesting.
But, for now, I fare thee well. I've used my time on this computer and have to go home study Gray's Anatomy. And I'm talking about the real thing, not the TV series.
Eipä ole ollut mitään asiaa sitten viime bloggauksen. Se helvetin kiitollisuusprojektikin pitäisi saattaa päätökseen... No olkoon, eilen olin kiitollinen, kun törmäsin C:hen aivan vahingossa kaupungilla kahteen kertaan; ei olla puhuttu tai edes mailailtu pariin kuukauteen. Tänään olen kiitollinen, paitsi siitä että tämä yläasteen liikuntatuntien vitutusasteen haastava pakkopulla loppuu, myös Levykauppa Äx:n laajasta valikoimasta ja nopeasta toimituksesta (en sitten löytänyt Deathlike Silencen levyä täältä; sainpas Epicankin siinä sivussa).
Pääsyy tälle hetkelliselle kielen vaihdokselle löytyy Millikanin blogista. Meemi, jossa tarkoituksena on "kääntää" annetut virkkeet (aivan, eivät ole kaikki lauseita!) käyttämälle puhekielelleen. Mutta asiaan.
***
1.Siskoni punainen mekko mahtuu myös minulle.
~ H:n hame menöö mullekki.
[Realistisempi käännös: Vitut mä mitää hametta laita, saatana.]
2. Tarvitsetko apua kirjotustehtvässä, jonka maantiedonopettaja antoi?
~ Tarviksä apua sen T:n esseessä.
3. Hyvä on, tehdään niinkuin sinä ehdotit.
~ No teherään sitte niinku sä haluat.
4. Isäni äiti kertoi hakevansa meidät noin kello 17.45
~ Mummu hakoo meirät joskus kuurelta.
5. Matkustinkin Helsinkiin linja-autolla, koska myöhästyin junasta.
~ Mä meninki linija-autolla Helsinkihin ku mä myöhästyyn junasta.
6. Oletko nähnyt missään isoveljeni matkapuhelinta?
~ Ooksä nähäny mihinä se kännykkä taas o?
7.Ostitko sen hameen, jonka näimme viime viikolla Hennes & Mauritzissa?
~ Ostiksä sen hamehen, se joka me nähtihin sielä vaatekaupas joskus viime viikolla?
Jäikö jollekin mahdollisesti epäselväksi, mistä olen kotoisin?
Good that this pain in the ass gratefulness project is over soon. I'm not apparently the kind of person to feel gratitude that easily.
About a year ago I left my contact information to a local professional translators. I didn't hear from her for a long time, so I assumed she must have ditched me althogether. Today, however, I received a very nice phone call. She called me to offer a language check. Unfortunately, she would have needed the first two texts (information booklets of certain Finnish towns) for Wednesday. That's when I'm coming back home (I have to go for the heritage discussion thingy -perunkirjoitukset- today so I won't be coming back until then). But the really good thing is that she has all my contacts, knows I'm still interested in doing translations and spell checks. Maybe she'll phone me again at some point.
- - -
I'm sure my wall neighbours love me right now; I just increase the volume whenever a good song is aired in the radio. Right now that's 'How long' by Hinder. Hail Radio Rock! Now if you could just play 'Six feet under the ground', 'Evolution' and 'I'm not Jesus' (Deathlike Silence, Korn, Apocalyptica feat. Corey Taylor)... nope, Coldplay and 'God put a smile on your face'. The song has a nice video, though.
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Okay, since I'll be offline for a couple of days I'll do this in advance:
I'm grateful for...
Day 9 (which was yesterday...): ...a nice gym instructor who managed to make me smile last night when I had a somewhat bad day.
Day 10: ...the professional translator considering me worth offering a job.
Day 11: ...people to speak with without the fear of being judged.
Day 12: ...having a life of my own and getting to make my own decisions.
Guess who is going on a Nightwish concert on the first of January 2008? Exactly. My only problem is that I haven't so far been abe to open the site of the hostel very near the Ice Hall. Nah.. well, I have the rest of the year to figure that out, as the travel problems too. Not with the trains, though (hopefully): the train to Helsinki does require two exchanges (blah...) but on my way back the following evening I get to stay in the same train all the way. No, it's how to get to the hostel since it's so far away from the train station. I'm not very good at playing with the subway but walking there would take quite a while, too. Hmm... maybe my godmother, who has always lived in Helsinki, could have a moment to spare to me and come and meet me at the train station and travel with me to the hostel so that I don't get lost.
The end of an era; today was my last day at my summer job and the (partial) first day of my nine-day summer holiday. Many people seemed to find it incredibly funny of me to greet them, instead of the "goodbye" as normal people, by telling them to have a nice life. =)
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I assume it has become very clear to everyone by now that the schools have, yet again, started. I was listening to Radio Rock the other day, and they had an interesting poll question: what kind of teacher (good, weird, awful...) people had at school? Here's my abridged list in alphabetical order.
K- my not-so-beloved PE teacher during my junior high years. She show her first human traits in ninth grade when she let me do other things instead of ice skating (still spelling it like this; 'skating' may be the default form over there but not here). I am also convinced that she took off swimming (that I hated even more than ice skating) when my generation left for high schools and other second grade education systems. That's when I went to another teacher's PE group and K takes off swimming from her high school group. I still haven't swam even a little after high school; traumatised for life, I guess. (For more detailed rant on the teacher see the entry 'A memoir of physical education' on 31st of March on page five.)
M- my Finnish teacher during my second year at high school. She was a known feminist and a strong woman with strong opinions. She was always nice to me and didn't think I was being proud when I was really just afraid to intrude after being left out when people started forming groups around me for group assignments. She also signed me up for Nuori Aleksis reading circle in which one 3rd grade student from each high school. She chose me over many a perfect student whose transcripts held mainly nines and tens in every subject. I guess she saw that my interest in literature came from genuine passion, not from an urge to get as good grades as possible in every subject.
R- My eighth and ninth grade mathematics teacher. During 7th grade I was sure I'm just not goos at maths, and I got quite lousy grades. A group for ill-skilled pupils was founded and due to the lousy grades I ended up there. It soon turned out that I'm actually pretty good at maths, I just haven't had any guidance or teaching because of the rest of the class which was pretty much out of control (seriously: my class was even worse than the feared "tarkkis"). Anyway, she was always kind to me, even after she realised I had a crush on her during the 9th grade spring. There was one incident when one of the female students was loudly telling about her which had ended in a bar in her father suspecting she's a lesbian. R shouted at her from the other side of the room to be quiet, that not everyone was interested in her weekend; right after she looked at me. I think she knew even before I did, then I still thought I might be bisexual. And because she was always nice to me, I knew that when I went to school every day to be bullied there would be at least one person who spoke to me like I was a real human being. I don't think she ever knew how much that meant; it was the only reason I didn't press the blade any deeper. If I ever see her again, I'll thank her for saving my life, since that's exactly what she did.
S- my biology teacher throughout my high school years. He was infamous for always being late everywhere. The classic reply to any question he didn't know the answer to was "I cannot know, I'm a herbologist!". He also made all the notes to be copied with PowerPoint. I can assure you: during a really boring lecture, the climax was to guess in which way (bouncing, Speedy Gonzales, wavy etc.) the sentence appeared and how many spelling mistakes (and there were many..) it contained.
V- This guy was my IT teacher in seventh grade, I think. According to rumours, he had touched female pupils in an inappropriate way. In my opinion, he was a way too soft bachelor, who was always late and never demanded the students anything, resulting in that the only thing I remember is reading Anne Frank's diary during of one the classes. He didn't even notice.
The x in the equation is x=1/7 or x=-4/7, in case someone's mathematics skills on the intriguing area perfect second degree equations falters.
- - -
Today I'm grateful for a web bookstore for sending the books I ordered (one manga that I've been reading for a year, one book n sadomasochism [;)] and one 'Aprilhäxan' on bargain). Too bad they seemed to have lost one of the books completely. There's not even a slightest mention of it in the bill that it might be sent afterwards. I guess I have to sent them a little e-mail.
Wasn't in the mood to be grateful for anything yesterday until at ten in the evening. I even skipped my Combat class, which says a lot about my recent state of mind. But anyway, falling asleep right after C.S.I. is something to be grateful for; earlier this week I've been sleeping three to four hours a night. Imagine how my head begins to do the occasional nods when I'm really drowsy around twelve at work. My luck this sleepiness phase is overcome by some energy spike around one p.m. as today: I managed to fix the radio, find Radio Rock and the first song to be 'Six feet under the ground'! Damn, that song is good... I just found the band's official website (www.deathlikesilence.com) and discover that the vocalist, who I first considered to be Timo Kotipelto or Ari Koivunen turned out to be a woman, Miss Maya. She has a really low voice, and sounds great! I'll be going to see if I can find their album tomorrow after my very last day at work (then I'll be having my luxorious nine day summer holiday consisting of my father's official heritage discussion, the visit to a hospital to gather the required information of my vaccine history and get a B hepatitis shot).
Today I'm really very happy for Lost! Now I'm only looking forward to Dexter and all my favourites are on air again.
"Our test has determined that you possess
48% Hellbentness, 46% Sanguinity, and 44% Creeps!
Well done!
Your Proto-Goth Icon Match is Rozz Williams, the founder of the rock group Christian Death. Christian Death took a relentlessly confrontational stand against organized religion and conventional morality, with an appetite for provocation that made Marilyn Manson look like Stryper. Regardless of who was leading or performing in the group, Christian Death set themselves up to shock, both in their cover art and their lyrics, which wallowed in blasphemy, morbidity, drug use, and sexual perversity. Williams was an extremist - in every sense of the word- dabbling in cross-dressing, bisexuality, Satanism, and even Christianity. Sadly, in 1998, a heroin-addicted Williams took his own life at the age of 34."
'Proto' is, by the way, a prefix used to indicate originality.
