Silly me...

I had a great joke that couldn't be translated in Finnish...



Sure enough you could translate it but then you wouldn't understand the joke...



But what happens when I finally get here to post it?



Sure, I forget the whole thing!



Typical!!

Where are You from?Every english speaking country has its own way of thinking,therefor their jokes ,the meaning,can't be translated to finn or viceversa.Here is one: Man was sitting in a bar at the bar desk drinking.He notices nise looking lady at the end of the bar.Asks bartender if he could send a drink to her.Bartender says don't bother,she will not go with you,she is lesbian.Well,the man does not give up,and goes over to talk to the lady.He says how nice she looks and do You need company,and by the way,what part of lesbia do You gome from?

Here comes another one, wouldn't care to try and translate this one into Finnish either:



A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves, and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but she listens in horror as one of the men says the following:

"Emma come first. Den I come. Two asses, dey come together. I come again. Two asses, dey come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come once-a more."

"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Imma just tellun my friend howa ta spella Mississippi."

Here´s couple I just got from States:



You're only as old as you feel.

A passer-by noticed an old lady sitting on her front step:

"I couldn't help noticing how happy you looked! What is your secret for such a long, happy life?"

"I smoke 4 packs of cigs a day", she said. "Before I go to bed, I smoke a nice big joint.

Apart from that, I drink a whole bottle of Jack Daniels every week, and eat only junk food.

On weekends I pop a huge number of pills and do no exercise at all."

"This is absolutely amazing at your age!!!!", says the passer-by.

"How old are you?"

"Twenty four" she replied.







For his birthday, little Patrick asked for a 10-speed bicycle.

His father said, "Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage

on this house is $80,000 & your mother just lost her job.

There's no way we can afford it."



The next day the father saw little Patrick heading out the

front door with a suitcase. So, he asked, "Son, where are

you going?"



Little Patrick told him, "I was walking past your room last

night & heard you telling mom you were pulling out. Then,

I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too.

And, I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with an

$80,000 mortgage & no bike!"



Hope those amused u

Public eye,DKNY,good jokes,BUT not american mentalaty,ok for Queens english way of thinking.That's what I mean about the way of being in other places .Do not try to translate even from british to american.I don' t mean any harm or being nasty dears.

Coco, I think you should try and learn either Queens English or American. You don't seem to know either one yourself. And what's with this "american mentalaty" (sic) ????

Nasty,bitter old queen you,what is it then that we speak here in canada other than french.

DKNY, your jokes were amusing but both of them can easily be translated to finnish without losing their meaning. I thought that this conversation was about the linguistical and cultural barriers between jokes, which makes them untranslatable.. ;)

Ah, untranslatable jokes. Here's one.



A saloon, piano playing in the background. Bartender is wiping some glasses clean, when a panda walks in. The bartender, not easily shaken asks, "What may I get you?". The panda asks, "Do you serve food?". The bartender tells him they have beans and bacon, and the panda coughs up some bills and pays for the meal. The meal comes, the panda munches through it and then gives a satisfied burp. Then, to the bartender's surprise, a gun appears in the panda's hand. The panda shoots the pianist and calmly walks to the doorway.



The shocked bartender shouts, "What on Earth was that for?" The panda looks over his shoulder and says, "I'm a *panda*. Go look it up." and leaves.



Confused, the bartender searches for a dictionary and sees what it says about pandas:



"pan-da (n), A rare bearlike mammal (Ailuropoda melanoleuca) of the mountains of China and Tibet, having woolly fur with distinctive black and white markings.

Eats shoots and leaves."

OK, let's give it another try, an inpossible-to-translate joke - and this is not an American one, even though it deals with wanting to go there...



A depressed young woman was so desperate that she decided to end her life by throwing herself in the ocean. When she went down to the docks a handsome young sailor noticed her tears and took pity on her.

"Look, you've got a lot to live for," he said. "I'm off to America in the morning and if you like I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day." Moving closer, he slipped an arm around her shoulder, winked at her and added, "I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy."

The girl nodded. After all, what did she have to lose?

That night, the sailor took her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. Every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they shagged furiously.

Three weeks later, during a routine search, she was discovered by the Captain. "What are you doing here?" the Captain asked.

"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she explained. "I get to go to America and in return he's screwing me."

"He certainly is," the Captain replied. "This is the Dover to Calais ferry."

I guess you mean that the part about screwing in the end would be difficult to translate. It is, but not impossible, though, I've seen the same pun in some sitcom on TV and it was translated with "panna - panna halvalla". So the girl would say: "Se panee minua." and the captain would reply: "Se panee sua halvalla, tämä on Doverin lautta."



Not quite as funny but passable as a translation, I think. The actual punchline of the joke is, after all, the fact the sailor fooled the girl so thoroughly. But the pun about screwing is an essential part as well.

I agree, there are certainly ways to convey the idea of a joke based on words with multiple meanings in a given language into another environment. Anyway, the joke usually loses its edge, it will become watered-down somehow.

In fact, I do know a totally localized variety of that "screwing" joke in Finnish. In that one, instead of America the boat is supposed to be going to Buenos Aires, but is in fact the Suomenlinna ferry. And in that version the final punch line as such is totally missing.

Okay, here's one, I guess with the gas station atmosphere it would have inspired ToF as well…

----

A man and his wife were driving through country on his way from New York to California. Looking at his fuel gauge, he decided to stop at the next gasoline station and fill up. About 15 minutes later, he spots a Mobil station and pulls over to the high octane pump. "What can I do for ya'll?" asks the attendant. "Fill 'er up with high test," replies the driver.

While the attendant is filling up the tank, he's looking the car up and down. "What kinda car is this?" he asks. "I never seen one like it before."

"Well," responds the driver, his chest swelling up with pride, "This, my boy is a 2001 Cadillac DeVille." "What all's it got in it?" asks the attendant.

"Well," says the driver, "It has everything. It's loaded with power steering, power seats, power sun roof, power mirrors, AM/FM radio with a 10 deck CD player in the trunk with 100 watts per channel, 8 speaker stereo, rack and pinion steering, disk brakes all around, leather interior, digital instrument package, and best of all, a 8.8 liter V12 engine."

"Wow," says the attendant, "That's really something!"

"How much do I owe you for the gasoline?" asks the driver. "That'll be $30.17," says the attendant. The driver pulls out his money clip and peels off a $20 and a $10. He goes into his other pocket and pulls out a handful of change. Mixed up with the change are a few golf tees. "What are those little wooden things?" asks the attendant.

"That's what I put my balls on when I drive," says the driver. "Wow," says the attendant, "Those Cadillac people think of everything!"

Dear XXXX,you did not get my point.I mean as I said before that each nationality has its own vay of expression and thinking. Now,every country is so mixed with many other nationals that does not matter anymore.The ones who were born whatever country will for sure learn local ways.If you Mr XXXX were born in Finland you know theyre way,I am use to ours.I'm not nasty to you,like you were towards me.Have a nice day.

I heard this one in the UK a few years back. Would definitely not work in the States...

What's the difference between the United States of America and a youghurt?

In about two weeks' time a youghurt will have developed a culture.

well Keynes had this: amareicans are the most dynamic.
Advanced from barbarism to decadence without suffering any civilization

The peoples of the world unite to make fun of Americans.

They already have, and for a reason...

Are there any native speakers actually around here?

Native speakers?

Native speakers of English (which I'm not).

Thanks Public Eye.

Tyronecoco: a native speaker is someone, who speaks English (or other language, but in this case English) as his/hers mother tongue.
Not a spokesperson for Navaho Nation parliament.

(I'm not one either, btw...)

I think that native speakers (of English) would prefer not to populate this forum, for the simple reason that there is only ONE active thread in English. Hardly enough to keep the things interesting.

Teacher: What's your name?
Student: Hatch!
Teacher: Oh, really - Hatch who?
Student: Bless you, Sir!

*knock knock*
- Who's there?
- Boo!
- Boo who?
- Aw don't cry silly!

The FootyHoligans jokes reminds me about the good bad old Knock knock jokes , such classicks ...........
But I have forgoten !
Anyone now some good ones of them ?