Maybe it's my own loneliness that does it, my craving for a connection with someone, that I see them everywhere. Happy people. Friends talking to each other, couples, holding hands, kissing, being happy. Belonging. And I feel so separated from them, from everyone. As if I am a spot of mold in an otherwise good bread. Something that does not belong, something that should be rid of.
I'm watching the final season of 'L Word'. I'm living through them again. Watching their frinedship, making new friends, encountering problems and getting through them together. Watching Bette and Tina's relationship, hoping I'd have something like that. Someone with something in common. Someone I could trust so completely. Someone to protect and someone to protect me. Someone to understand me. Someone I'd understand. Someone to share my life with, my stupid little mundane everyday life.
I just feel so alone.
2 kommenttia
martin
26.8.2010 18:38
Sad to hear. I sincerily hope, you would find someone and not feel anymore l o n e l y. Your life is not stupid and not little me reading about it (nothing more), but could-be GREAT!
Splenetic
27.8.2010 06:32
I hope, too. Unfortunately hoping isn't enough; I should do something about it but I... I actually don't really know what the problem is. Am I scared of something, or just not feeling it worth a try.
You be happy with your partner and cherish him everyday, you're lucky to have someone by your side.